Bad Luck?

I'm not really sure what is going on with me lately. Some might call it an extreme case of bad luck. I'm not sure if that is what it is or just a bunch of crap dealt my way all at once. Let me explain my last seven or so days.


It started last weekend with one itchy, watery eye. By Tuesday afternoon I had called the Dr and was on antibiotic drops for pink eye. In both eyes. By Wednesday I was home from work with two eyes practically swollen shut. On Friday my eyes were overall better but my right eye looked as if I had been punched in it with a huge broken blood vessel. (On a side note I sold one eye wash station last week for the first time and quoted two others, huh...think it had something to do with how horrible my own eyes looked??) On Friday I also began suffering from a horrible sore throat. I rested most of the day on Saturday hoping to feel better by the time my Mom and Will (my brother) came over. When they arrived I took some great drugs and did feel much better.  We sat around enjoying a lovely dinner Will prepared and playing a few rounds of a great game called, "Finish Lines". I tell you this because during the course of the game, or at dinner, or at some point, anyway, we somehow began discussing how Will kicks and thrashes about the bed as he sleeps. He even mentioned how he quite often either wakes up on the floor or just before falling. I was astounded. "How can you fall off a King size bed?", "I haven't fallen out of the bed since I was a kid!" I gloated.


Well. Guess where I found myself at around 4am? Yep, you guessed it, on the floor. Now, let me tell you, my bed is a tall bed, it is quite high off the ground. I remember waking up to go to the bathroom, I threw the covers back and placed my right hand on the bed to swing my legs around, only to discover I was falling, my right hand hadn't landed on the bed, I missed. Completely. How you ask? I have no clue. I just know that it hurt and it felt, in the moment, as if I fell forever. I was half asleep and really out of it. My head hit the dresser, my wrist became sprained, my knee has a lovely carpet burn and my other leg is bruised. Yes, I know, I am the epitome of grace. I also can honestly attest that I scared the crap out of Julio who previously had been sound asleep!


So, is it bad luck or just a rough week? I have no clue, I only hope that whatever it is is out of my system and will allow me a great week this week, I've had enough!

Still Here!

Hi everyone! I know, I know, you probably don't even remember me! I miss my writing and you guys! It has been a crazy few months, but I believe things are finally settling down to a solid routine. I am feeling more at ease and happy with the transition with the kids, things are going great with Julio and Bethanie and I really couldn't be happier.

Abby is doing really great in school, Molly and Zach have adapted to daycare and are doing so well, Bethanie is even becoming her own person. The blossoming in all the kids that has already occurred this year is astounding.

I am going to try and get back to writing on a more regular basis and I hope you guys will all come back! I look forward to reading your updates and checking back in with all of you!

Well, I Met the Family...

This weekend, as most of you know, I made the trek to Georgia to meet Julio's family: his oldest two kids, his parents and his brother. And, as most of you know, I was quite nervous about this meeting. But, as I mentioned in my comment to his post about this weekend, he had built his family up so much that even Mother Teresa would have been nervous! 


I got up early Saturday and spent two hours (yes, 2 flipping hours!) getting ready, mind you I took my sweet time. I showered, blew my hair out with the dryer, curled it just a bit, took my time applying my makeup, etc. I just wanted to feel as put together as I possibly could, even though I KNEW the humidity would most likely flatten my hair in a matter of minutes, which it did.


Julio arrived with the kids to pick me up, I scooped up my presents and headed to the lobby where they were awaiting me. The kids quickly got out of the van and came over for hugs and introductions. I was instantly taken, and could not believe they were as tall as I am (or maybe a smidge taller!).  I had ordered a couple of books for each one of them, which really seemed to be a hit.  Julio tried to make us load up one time during this gift exchange claiming we were "blocking" the drive thru area of the hotel, pfft! I told the kids we were fine for a couple of minutes as we said our hello's...yes, that is pretty typical of me.


We went to the store as I wanted to pick up some flowers to take for his Mom. After all, she was inviting me into her home and I wanted to show her my appreciation. Becky, BJ and Bethanie helped me pick out some beautiful pink/peach combination roses.  We picked up a few other things for the feast and were on our way. 

It was so much fun in the van. Julio and I could not even get a word in edgewise to each other as the kids were talking to me a mile a minute. It could not have been better. I loved and thoroughly enjoyed every minute.  We arrived to his house and he made his introductions first to his Mom, then his brother, then his Dad. Then we went to work. There was so much food! We had shish ka bobs, wings, chicken legs, ribs, brats, grilled pineapple (YUM!), potato salad, baked beans, grilled corn on the cob, cucumbers and tomatoes, deviled eggs, and a delicious pudding. It was more food than you could imagine. All of it was delicious!  We had a great time around the table, laughing, telling stories and I jumped right in with the joking around. I also learned I am going to HAVE to learn Spanish. This is also something Julio's Mom told me several times. It's not that they intentionally would begin speaking in Spanish but there are some things they just say in Spanish, which is fine. I will adapt. It was interesting that quite often I could pick up on some of what was being said based on context and my three years of French. There are some similarities. But not nearly enough.

*A fun little side note: Julio's Mom said her very last thought prior to going to sleep Friday night, was "Oh poor Mandy". I guess she knew how nervous I was! To this Cesar (Julio's brother) added that his last thought was, "Oh goody...muah hahaha, tomorrow will be FUN!" 


We spent the rest of the evening just watching movies and being together. It seemed the day was over before it began, it went by so quickly. 

On Sunday Julio's parents went to church and he, the kids and I just enjoyed a quiet Sunday morning. Julio and I sat at the kitchen table with coffee and just talked about everything and nothing. I found myself just truly relishing the time. I could have sat there with him all day. Time flew by. Before I knew it it was time for me to leave. I could feel the tears in my eyes and as I hard as I tried I just could not fight them. I hid them from the kids and as soon as I could get them to stop flowing said my goodbyes and got on the road...where the tears flowed for about the first hour or so of my long drive home.


It was an amazing weekend. But now, I am left wondering, who hit the fast forward button on the weekend and could you please fast forward the next two and a half weeks so I can hurry and have him and the kids with me again?  I cannot wait for his family to become my family and mine to become his. THAT is an incredible feeling (yes, one that was totally worth the anxiety, anticipation, nerves and fright that I had felt prior to the weekend).

Meeting the Parents

I have a pretty exciting weekend coming up. I am taking the day off from work on Friday leaving bright and early, first a stop in Columbia to have breakfast with my Dad at the Cracker Barrel he always took me to as a kid, then on to Georgia to see Julio and meet: his parents, his brother and his two older kids.


This is a big deal to me. Am I nervous? You betcha. I did not have the best relationship with my former father in law, something that always bothered me, we were just two very different people. I love him and I care about him, we just did not have a bond. On the other hand my ex-husband's sister could not have been more like a sister to me. 


So this is huge. Julio has also built his parents and brother up a bit therefore I am nervous. Will they like me? Will I say the right thing, or stick my foot in my mouth as I am so good at doing?  I suppose if it were not so important to me then I would not be so concerned.  There are also some extenuating circumstances that add to the stress a bit, but we do not need to discuss those at this time. I have talked to his two older kids on the phone and via Skype and I am super excited about meeting them. They are very bright, well spoken kids and I am certain we will get along fabulously.


I am a people person, it's how I am able to make a living in commissioned sales, after all, but, meeting the parents and brother is just a wee bit intimidating to me. You know those episodes of the Bachelor and the Bachelorette when they go home to meet the parents and each family member takes one on one time to "grill" or question the proposed mate? Yeah, that is kind of how I envision things. How do I make sure I am "acceptable"? How do I make sure I make a good impression?...oh the stress...oh the worry...oh the excitement, too.


Yes, I am excited. I am excited to get the "big meeting" over with, but I am also excited to finally put faces and voices to names. I have bought a new outfit, had my nails done, am giving myself a pedicure tonight, and have the perfect jewelry and shoes picked out to complete the outfit. I suppose I am as ready as I will ever be...


I'll let you know on Monday how it went...maybe even with a few pictures...if they turn out ok and if it all goes well...and if I actually show up...yikes!

Not Me Monday-Weekend Edition

It was a fun, family filled weekend. Julio and Bethanie came to visit us for another semi long weekend. We all just had a great time. 
Friday night my Mom and brother, Will, came over. Will made a Chicken Curry that was one of the best I had ever had. I am already craving some more. We had a bit of wine and hung out on my porch for a pretty long evening that actually flew by. I did NOT drink more wine than I can remember in a very long time. Oh no! NOT ME!  I would not do such a thing!  I did not progressively talk louder with each glass of wine consumed, nope, again, NOT ME!  I especially did NOT drunk tweet some of the evening, nope, I would never do anything like that.
Saturday morning I woke up with a little bit of a headache for some strange reason. Haven't quite figured that one out, yet. Huh. Anyway, I was treated like a queen with Julio getting up and making the kids breakfast and bringing me breakfast in bed. Wow. I cannot tell you the last time someone brought me breakfast in bed. (I am NOT getting spoiled by this, oh no!)
We took the kids to the pool on Saturday and Sunday and really had a great time. 

One of the nicest things about taking the kids to the pool is that it slap wears them out. They came back and took a nice nap on Sunday afternoon. It allowed for a very relaxing afternoon for all of us. 

Julio then cooked dinner as well (again, I will say I am not getting spoiled, oh no, NOT ME!).  He made us a wonderful homemade spaghetti. It was loved by all.  The kids were all asleep and peaceful pretty early on Saturday night. It was, again, a nice treat! Hey, when you have 4 kids under the same roof it can get crazy!  All in all they get along quite well and allow for some really fun, family times.

Sunday was pretty much a repeat of Saturday, complete with pool, naps and early bedtimes. By Monday morning we were all pretty worn out from the weekend but really dreading our goodbyes.  A few more weeks and we'll all be together again, so I will just focus on that for now.

Now...if only we could work on that Georgia Bulldog fan thing that he has going on...any advice on how to deal with that?? Help me out here, folks!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to < target="_blank" href="http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths

So I have had this debate with more than one person. Is it safe to take a bath or a shower during a thunderstorm? I was always told "NO WAY"! But Julio and one of my friends both say they have never heard that this is unsafe. 


Now, to be fair, I had a very overprotective Aunt that always had the Weather Channel on. Perhaps this is where I got my information. Or perhaps it was from my Grandmother. I am really not sure. I just know it is ingrained in me that baths, water, etc do NOT mix well with thunderstorms.  

I have done a little research and it seems you can find evidence on either side. Julio says this was probably true before pipes were primarily made of plastic, which I can see. But I just know what a great conductor of electricity water can be.


So which is it? What do you think and why? Help me out, my most trusted advisors!!

Forever Love?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about love and life lately. Pretty understandable considering what this year has brought my way. Ed and I have been physically separated a little over 6 weeks now. While in some aspects that doesn't seem like a very long time in other ways it is a lifetime.


I specify "physically" separated because we have been emotionally separated for much, much longer. I am not going to put a time frame on it here as it is not important. He and I were together over 11 years and this Wednesday, Cinco de Mayo, would have been married 9 years. He turned 30 years old three days after we got married and I was 27. I thought I was older than everyone else. I thought I was never going to get married. Ha. I look back at my wedding pictures and just see this really young girl.  I also see a young girl that was full of hopes and dreams for our future. 


That is the hardest part of accepting our separation and impending divorce. It is the death of those hopes and dreams. It is something I have had to mourn and will likely mourn for some time to come. But there is no doubt to either of us this is the right decision. Ed has moved on to what appears to be (I have not yet met her) a wonderfully kind, loving woman and I have moved on to an amazing, intelligent, thoughtful, caring man. Does it seem as if we moved very quickly?


Well, if you think we have only been separated for 6 weeks, then yes, I suppose to some it may appear to be really fast. However, Ed and I grew apart and have really lived separate lives under the same roof for quite sometime. We both knew we were missing something and not giving the other what they needed. Therefore in a lot of ways the final "official separation" was like a breath of fresh air. Aside from a few bumps as we transition into our new relationship with each other we are getting along fabulously. I do not know how long it has been since we have gotten along so well.


It made me start to think, however, is the whole idea of one person that you are meant to spend your life with truly realistic? I mean, sure there are folks out there that stay married for life, some happily and some just because it is comfortable and they don't want to leave that comfort zone. There is a fear of letting go of all you have ever known. 


But, is it truly realistic? I do not know. Here is what I DO know. I was happy when I married Ed. I thought it was forever. I thought given the fact that we were so dedicated to this for life that we could tackle anything. I believed that if we both were committed to making it work that is all it would take. I was wrong. Somewhere along the line we both changed. Or maybe one of us did and the other did not. Or maybe we realized the things we did not think were a very big deal really were. I know I am so happy for him now. He is truly happy, I can see it in his eyes and the way he is taking care of himself. 


I have moved on as well and am happier than I can remember being in such a long time. Julio is very different from Ed. I am not sure they would have anything to even talk about, ok, well maybe college football. But it is strange to me at how different they are, yet they are both people I have cared for to the depths of my soul.


However, had I met Julio 11 years ago instead of Ed we probably would not have had very much to say to each other. We were both extraordinarily different people than we are today. We were not right for each other back then. However, NOW, a mere 11 years later we have more in common than seems possible. Sure, we have different feelings about politics and things, but they are differences that bring about more togetherness, not less. I feel more myself with him than I have ever felt. He knows me inside and out. He knows what makes me tick, what motivates me, what touches me. 


Julio knows how to be supportive, when I need a swift kick to get moving at work, when I need advice or when I just need to laugh. It is not something we discuss it is something understood. 


So I wonder, how can someone that would have been so wrong for me that I doubt I would have even been friends with 11 years ago seem to right for me now?  Is it possible that there are different people meant for us at different stages of our lives? Or is it that twenty something is truly too young to marry? Folks in their twenties are still growing, maturing, figuring out who they are and what they truly want, yet society does make us feel that that is when we should be settling down and starting a family.


I do not know the answer and I am sure everyone is different. I thought I knew who I was back then and what I wanted. Of course, maybe I did. I just want and need very different things now. I do not regret for one minute the life I had with Ed. We have three beautiful, loving children. How could I ever regret that gift? How could I ever regret the time we spent together? The shared experiences, our first house, the births of our children, the football games, the struggles, all of it. It was a good life, however, it ran its course. 


I am more thankful than you can imagine that I Ed and I are able to embark on this new journey without the animosity and hate you so often see during divorce. It is the best gift we can give our children and each other.

What a Weekend!

We had a great weekend. Julio arrived (after a bit of car trouble) on Friday about midday and it was non stop fun from then out.  We took the kids to Magnolia Plantation with my Mom and brother and rode the train that takes you all around the plantation. This was especially appropriate on Saturday as it was the one year anniversary of my Dad's death and he used to drive the train/conduct the tours before he became ill.

Then we took the kids to the petting zoo located on the grounds of Magnolia Plantation. They had a great time looking at the peacocks, deer, bunnies, snakes, bobcats, roosters, owls, etc...

By this time the kids were pretty worn out, of course so were the big kids, so Molly decided to show us the way to the car:

On Sunday we had a birthday party for Bethanie and the kids played dress up!

I think Bethanie was pretty happy with her birthday party and could not wait to show her Dad how appreciative she was:

What a great weekend family filled weekend we enjoyed. The girls played so well together. It is amazing how quiet my house feels right now.  Unfortunately due to some horrible car trouble as I write this Bethanie and Julio have yet to make it home, they left here at 8:00 this morning. It has been a very trying day for us, but it does NOT take away from the amazing time we all had together.

A Typical Conversation

Ok, so if you read Musings of a Madman, you know we have recently begun dating. Part of the fun of our relationship is our intelligent conversations. Many of our conversations end up as friendly debates stemming from our differences of political and theological opinions.  What's funny is that some of the time, as these debates progress, and we become more determined to get the other to see our point we become more and more rigid. We tend to go to extremes to prove our points. Many times, we are not quite as extreme in our beliefs as we portray in order to convince the other they are wrong.

Below is a typical "conversation" we had via instant message today. Again, I remind you, quite often we will each take on the role of "devil's advocate" simply to prove to the other how crazy their argument is. I am not asking you to join the debate, you can if you wish, but mainly demonstrating how our debates progress:

gamecockvaughn: Ok. Explain something to me.
Julio: ok
gamecockvaughn: Why close guantanamo?

Julio: the only reason we have them in GB is so we do not have to follow our own legal system

gamecockvaughn: Ok. I get that. But...
gamecockvaughn: They are talking about bringing some of them to the Naval Brig here in Charleston. They already had Jose Padilla here for a while. There was a huge outcry because it is viewed as a terrorist threat to have them on american soil. I *thought* that was part of the reason to house them at gitmo too?
Julio: so can I ask a question that most conservatives find offensive..they never answer it but they find it offensive?
gamecockvaughn: You can ask

Julio: are you telling me our troops are only good at destroying things, blowing things up and killing people on foreign soil..these good men and women in uniform are completely incapable of doing a passive form of defense on our own soil that we have to be afraid of bringing our own prisoners here to be dealt with on our own soil and intead we have to take and endanger people that we dont even respect enough to lift an embargoJulio: (2) IF they ARE a danger, are we morally right to push the danger of our own war on other people, ESPECIALLY people that we dont have the decency to even lift sanctions while we are endangering them...that is assuming that they are a danger lol
gamecockvaughn: I have already conceeded that point.
gamecockvaughn: It amazes me

Julio: and here is the real kicker...

gamecockvaughn: How
Julio: (3) if they are NOT a danger then why are they in Gitmo...
gamecockvaughn: We can both be on opposite views yet argue similar pointsd
gamecockvaughn: They are a danger
gamecockvaughn: That's why they are in prison
Julio: the answer?  The Bush regime misdirected the American people, dangling fear and a false sense of safety so they could sidestep the principles that make us who we are the very ideals that make us civilized and the terrorists criminals
gamecockvaughn: Oh stop it!
gamecockvaughn: Lol

Julio: oh I am sorry...I misunderstood...I thought you wanted my opinion

Julio: grins
gamecockvaughn: Ass
gamecockvaughn: Lol
Julio: bitch
Julio: lol
gamecockvaughn: Rofl
gamecockvaughn: It always goes back to "the Bush Regime"
gamecockvaughn: Because
gamecockvaughn: Clearly
gamecockvaughn: There was no Gitmo prior to Bush
Julio: yes there was. a gitmo...but the gitmo we are discussing is the gitmo we are using to break every rule in our own legal system
gamecockvaughn: No.
Julio: do we form our legal system because it is RIGHT or because it is RIGHT for Americans and every body else be damned?
gamecockvaughn: Well clearly everybody else be damned
Julio: if our legal system is RIGHT...then it is right for everybody.  We cannot hold our principles as RIGHT only when it is convenient.  We have to hold our principles as RIGHT...even when it is not convenient
gamecockvaughn: When national security is on the line? If we could have stopped 9/11? Ok for different rules then?
Julio: you tell me?  where do you draw the line?
Julio: how much of 9/11 was us not breaking the rules...and how much was our lax intelligence and the lack of cooperation between our intelligence agencies?
Julio: THAT point has already been proven dear
Julio: the senate report made it clear that we had the information...it was a matter of lack of communication between our intelligence agencies
gamecockvaughn: Oh I agree lack of communication and a sense of "we can't be touched" HUGE part of the problem.
gamecockvaughn: But do you stop there or do you become PROactive instead of REactive?
Julio: I dont know...are you ok with your phone line being tapped without due process?
gamecockvaughn: I have nothing to hide.
Julio: are you ok with you being profiled based on your religion, creed, color?
gamecockvaughn: Again, I have nothing to hide.
Julio: does the fact you have nothing to hide justify an intrusive government?
Julio: these are REAL liberties that could be endangered and exploited...not the imaginative liberties the Tea Party people cook up
gamecockvaughn: If it keeps me and my family safe? If it prevents another massive loss of life due to terrorism be it foreign or domestic, why would I care?
Julio: I disagree completely
gamecockvaughn: And
gamecockvaughn: I agree. I have a different perspective. I am not likely to be targeted for investigation by my government. Perhaps that makes me an unfair judge.

Julio: well...ok..true...but what happens when 10 years from now (hypothetically) when muslims no longer are our most dangerous, but ultra conservatives that think that the government is the anti christ and they start bombing government building (like OK city) and the new religious enemies are ultra conservatives and ultra religious christians?
gamecockvaughn: Then I still feel the same way.

Julio: and you My dear are a minority on that...the christians already feel that the government is out to get them...
Julio: one of our founding fathers is credited with saying something along the lines that the person that is willing to trade their liberties for safety does not deserve either

Julio: and will lose both

Julio: and no that is not a quote...that is a paraphrase

gamecockvaughn: Make it personal. I am out with bethanie somewhere and we are victims of a terrorist attack that could have been prevented by all this. Would it have been ok then to have given up a bit of privacy??

Julio: if I am to stay true to my principles? no.  And here is why...unlimited government that is willingly given the right to intrude at will on my life will eventually become the true terror
Julio: there is a chance of that scenario happening
Julio: regardless
gamecockvaughn: That is taking it to extremes
Julio: is it?
Julio: then what are priniciples dear?
Julio: principles are not priniciples if we are willing to toss them at the first hypothesis of danger
gamecockvaughn: They are just different principles. My #1 priority is to protect my family. If someone breaks into my house I am legally allowed to shoot them. They lose their rights when they choose to endanger my family. If there was a way that could have been prevented would that not have been better for all involved?

Julio: without principles, love, we have anarchy.  We cannot be guided ONLY by the principle to protect our family because we will forego the rules that make society civilized.  Protecting my family is my priority and I would shoot a person that endangered my family.  But I also feel that if I allow government to go ramapant then I am NOT defending my family.  My children and grand children will pay the consequences.
gamecockvaughn: Clearly I do not want government running rampant, love. I just want to feel safe. That is what this entire conversation boils down to.

Julio: OK...and I can see that...but I think that having these prisoners in custody period is a danger for retaliation...regardless of where they are at.  Do you think the danger to us would be less if we do a military tribunal in Gitmo and sumarily shoot em up or if we bring them here and go through the due process of our laws and the people that were injured see justice done?  do you think that a big turkey shoot at gitmo where we railroad them is going to give them less ammunition to use against us?
gamecockvaughn: Clearly I do not  think a  masive  turkey  shoot  is  a  good  idea
Julio: the point is that we have due process because due process works.  If we follow our principles and follow our due process then we have the moral high ground against them.  If we railroad them through military tribunals on foreign soil so we can break every rule in the book then we do ourselves a disservice and give them even more ammunition to use against us
Julio: that does not protect us...that endangers us even more


gamecockvaughn: Clearly? This will be better discussed than typed.
Julio: chuckles ok
Julio: I will hush
gamecockvaughn: 2 hours later! Lol
Julio: lol you DID bring it up baby 
gamecockvaughn: Is it really that easy to make you "hush"? Lol
gamecockvaughn: Hmmm
Julio: it took you 2 hours...you call that easy? lol
gamecockvaughn: With you?
gamecockvaughn: Yes

I'm sure from this you can tell we enjoy "goading" each other. This is pretty typical of how our conversations/debates seem to go. It's really going to be fun...don't you think??  What do you think I should "engage" him on next??

**Note: I do not, honestly, believe all things portrayed in this dialogue. I was simply, quite often, trying to make a point. It is sometimes hard to be heard via instant message!  So, please, my dear friends, do not lose faith in me politically!