My Take

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. ~Anne Frank

Over the past week or so I have been reading two of my favorite people's blogs, *Detour and Musings of a Madman as they have discussed their feelings on homosexuality, gay marriage and gay parentage. It has been a fascinating take on the evolution of thought and acceptance by both of these men.


After all the dialogue I have enjoyed with these two I decided I would put my feelings out there. One of the prevailing debates has been whether or not homosexuals should be "allowed" to adopt children. I guess I just do not get the whole "allowed" thing. To me, it is preposterous. Who are we to decide some people are more deserving of basic human rights than others? Why do we think anyone's rights should be simply based on someones sexual orientation? Seriously? I know it is oversimplifying things a bit but can we not agree that this is just plain ridiculous? 


I was speaking to another friend of mine and she said she tells her friends that are heterosexual and are having a hard time "grasping the concept" of gay parentage to imagine for just a minute if they were told they were not allowed to become parents simply because of who they love.  Can you imagine being denied the ability to raise a child? Simply because of something you have no control over?

If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. ~John F. Kennedy

Ah, the age old debate. Is homosexuality a choice? Well, let's just assume for a second that this was a choice. That at some point in all our lives we get to decide whether we want to be homosexual or heterosexual. Well, seriously, how many of you would "choose" to be ostracized, possibly expelled from your family and friends, to sit and look at the possible disappointment on your family's faces, accept the fact that you have to be careful who you tell, worry about who will accept you and who won't, question every look you are given, accept that you may not ever be able to marry or have children. Boy, sounds fun, doesn't it? 


When people start debating whether homosexuality is a choice it really hits a nerve with me. I have watched my brother struggle to find the words to tell our family, watched as he dotes on my kids while knowing there is an ache and a hole in his heart where his own children should (and hopefully will) be. I watched his struggles as a teenager, the pain he went through, the journey of his own self discovery and acceptance. Why would anyone ever "choose" to experience this? It is what it is. 


Then, once you have dealt with all your internal battles as a homosexual, learning to accept and love yourself, THEN you get to deal with your family and friends. Once they have accepted you THEN you get deal with our government and all that entails. You have to deal with the fact that you cannot marry (in most states), have no rights if your loved one is sick in a hospital, have no mutual insurance benefits, can't have children, etc. 


It is a very difficult life. To say anyone would "choose" this path is utterly insane.  To that point to say, as some have, that for a child to grow up in a homosexual home that child would "turn gay" is again, for lack of better word, preposterous. That child would grow up and be well aware of all the struggles and battles his/her parents have endured. That child would grow up knowing they were well loved, cared for and always had a home. That child would most likely grow up more tolerant of those that are "different", understanding the struggles that not being part of the "Beaver Cleaver" style family entails, I would say that child would grow up even more accepting and open to all the different types of families there are out there. 

As long as the differences and diversities of mankind exist, democracy must allow for compromise, for accommodation, and for the recognition of differences. ~Eugene McCarthy