Saturday, September 14, 2013

Abigail's Eleventh Trip Around the Sun

"Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning 
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile 
I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness 
And I have to sit down for a while 
The feeling that I'm losing her forever 
And without really entering her world 
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter 
That funny little girl "

 So hard to believe it has been eleven years, already.  I remember the day she was born so very clearly. She was a Gamecock fan from day one, she came screaming into this world just in time for kickoff of the Georgia/Carolina game.  Unfortunately that game was a heart breaker (just like our Abs!) as we lost 13-7.

I knew from the moment I was pregnant I wanted a baby girl more than anything.  I have always had a wonderful relationship with my Mom and I wanted to share that bond with  my own daughter.  The day of my ultrasound, my husband had to work so, quite appropriately, my Mom went with me.  I remember I wore a pink sweater and I told the ultrasound tech, "Okay, tell me what we're having, but take special notice of the pink sweater I'm wearing!"  Moments later she confirmed I was, indeed, having my very own baby girl.  We drove across town to my husband's job site and when I told him, he and I both hugged and cried. We knew we were being blessed with our "Abigail".

"Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time"

For the first five years of Abby's life it was just the three of us.  We had many an adventure.  We lived with my Mom and step-dad for about a year. What a great year that was, Abby had the benefit of having four people directing her, raising her, doting on her and loving her.  During that time her and her Grandad developed a very special relationship and Abby gained an appreciate for Marmite (ick!). Abby learned her colors and numbers off of pool table balls, as Grandad would take her to the country club and they would play on the pool table.  Abby and Grandad talked to "Truck" and just had so many great adventures traveling in the golf cart around the golf course to visit the ducks, turtles and doggies along the path.  He truly made an impact in her life and I'm so grateful for the relationship they shared.


"Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table 
Barely awake I let precious time go by 
Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling 
And a sense of guilt I can't deny 
What happened to the wonderful adventures 
The places I had planned for us to go 
Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't 
And why, I just don't know"



Abby and I have traveled to Arkansas to visit her cousins, I was able to take her on her first plane ride (along with my Mom), we visited Philadelphia for "Alopeciapalooza", traveled via ferry to New Jersey to visit a wonderful aquarium, plus numerous "local" adventures.  During the Summer Abby and I would attend her swim practices and swim meets together.  We just have always spent so much time with each other.  I feel I am doing a pretty good job of cultivating the kind of relationship with her as I've always had with my Mom.  It has always been my wish, my heart's desire, and to see it blossoming right before my eyes means more to me than I can express.


"Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time"

When my marriage with Abby's Dad fell apart and we agreed to share custody I thought my dreams had fallen apart. I was so distraught and afraid that Abby and I would never be as close as I had hoped. Fortunately we are closer than ever. I take advantage of every moment with her, our time is more precious because there is less of it. I find time for us to be alone, to share our heart, our struggles, our triumphs. I help her study and I also reprimand her, when needed. She is a great kid and I am so very proud of her and proud to be her Mom.

The lyrics I've posted are by Abba. "Mamma Mia" is one of our favorite movies. My Mom even took Abby, Becky and I to see it live at the Charleston Performing Arts Center. This particular song makes Abby cry every single time. I think she gets it. I know I do. Pardon me as I go wipe my tears now. Happy Birthday, sweet Abby Doodle.

"Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

And save it from the funny tricks of time

                                                  

Slipping through my fingers all the time"


2 comments:

Iris Silk said...

Well written tribute to an amazing kid who's lucky to have you as her Mom!

Mandy said...

Thanks, Mom. She's lucky to have you as her Nana, too.