Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Anxiety and the Peacekeeper

You know, life is hard. Ha, bet that came as a shock, huh? I am working, and have been working, so very hard, at not letting other people control my moods. It is amazing the power and control we willingly hand over to other people (especially to people that really have no concern for our happiness) in regards to our moods and feelings. I have always been prone to anxiety.  Because of this I can easily go from a terrific mood to a sour one based simply on something someone says to me or how they say it. I can obsess for hours over something someone said, how they said it, what they really meant and what this is going to mean in the long run. This is especially true as I navigate the slippery, rocky, bumpy trail that is divorce.

I am also a peace keeper, which goes quite nicely with my anxiety. I would prefer to be inconvenienced, worn out, put off, whatever, if it means the other person is happy and if it means I avoid a confrontation. Mainly this is because confrontation puts my stomach in knots. I obsess over it, I let it control my mood. Therefore, simply put, I tend to let others dictate my moods.  I realized today, once again, that this gives way to much power to people other than myself. 

What rational person would let someone ruin their perfectly wonderful day with just a few simple words or a few minutes of conversation?  Well, up until recently, me. And, truth be told it is very difficult for me not to. However, with this post I vow to change that. I vow to not let others, who really have no interest in my happiness whatsoever, control my mood. I vow to learn to accept things at face value. I am a fairly intelligent woman this is just one area of my life that needs a serious revamping. 

Can I do it? Can I learn to "shake things off"?  Can I learn to not obsess so much over things I really have no control? Can I learn to not give so much power over my feelings to others? It's going to take some time and some serious work but I am certainly going to try. Do any of you have any advice for me? Has anyone else had to deal with this? I welcome any and all advice.

See that each hour’s feelings, and thoughts and actions are pure and true; then your life will be also. ~ Henry Ward Beecher


Evil Twin's Wife said...

I've always been the type to blow things off. I think being "different" (a punk girl with a mohawk) made me realize I shouldn't be concerned about what others thought of me. I'm polite, respectful and true - that's all I need to know. :-) (And I also have serious anxiety - thank goodness for meds!) LOL.

Matt-Man said...

I have generalized panic attacks once in a great while, but they're never major, but as for letting others get to me? Not a chance. I won't allow it, although sometimes I will act like it does if I'm in the mood for a fight. Good Luck Mandy!!

AmyZ1974 said...

Oh wow....that sounds so much like me. I have anxiety issues and I definitely obsess about stuff. OCD anyone? It's hard but I am trying to be more assertive and not let others take advantage of me.