Happy Mother's Day, Mom

I wrote a post about my Mom awhile back. Since then, however, my life has changed a great deal. Mom has been there for me as always. She truly is my rock.  When Ed and I decided to divorce I think it was a bit hard on my Mom. I had not actually talked to her about my decision in great detail prior to the "moment of truth". Which is rare. Extremely rare.


Mom had been in Australia when I really made up my mind that my marriage was probably over. I did not want to hit her with it as soon as she got home and, well, I also knew once I discussed it with Mom it was pretty official. I had not discussed with anyone, other than my brother, and talking to Mom would make it all very real. I guess as time passed I just assumed she had figured it all out.  When Ed came to me and asked for the divorce, unbeknown to him I had come to the same conclusion, Mom was sad. I think it hit her hard and I think she felt she had failed me.


I could not believe she could ever think this way. My Mom may have divorced my Dad, but had she not I would have never have had the amazing step dad that she gave me. The amazing family she married us into. The incredible example of what two people should be to each other. Yes, divorce is sad, difficult, painful, all adjectives Mom made sure, in no uncertain terms, to explain to me. However, life is very short and way too short to spend unhappy. I want my kids to see happy parents. Parents that are in a relationship that is mutually satisfying, healthy and that is a love story.


This is one of the greatest gifts my Mom ever gave me. She gave me the example of what a healthy relationship looks like. She gave me a step dad that challenged me, pushed me and encouraged me. She gave me, through that marriage, a sister that is amazing. A brother, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and a truly amazing family filled with love and acceptance. She gave Abby memories of a Granddad that are irreplaceable and rare.


Mom is the nucleus of our family. Will and I are truly blessed to have such a supportive, caring, intelligent Mom. She is loved and admired by her friends, family and anyone that meets her.  Mom challenges, encourages and supports like a Mom should, but it goes beyond that. She accepts us and embraces our decisions in our lives.  She always tells us her thoughts on things, but then lets us live our lives. There are no "I told you so's" if we make a mistake, there is only ever love and support.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  

~Washington Irving

I love you, Mom...thanks for being an amazing example of what a Mom should be and for inspiring me to be just like you. I could wish for nothing more.

My Mom

On Sunday after reading my "Predictability" blog, my Mom called me. To compliment me. She said it was quite a departure from what I normally write. She said she had to look to make sure it really was my blog. Wait. Is that a compliment? Whatever, I'll take it. Funny how a compliment like this from my Mom can really make my night. However, it also sets the bar for the next blog. And the one after that. I guess no matter how old I get I still look for appreciation, validation and admiration from my mother. She gives it freely, but you can tell the difference from when she is 'just being mom" to when she is genuinely impressed with something I've done. Funny the hold a mother has over us. My Mom and I have always had a very good relationship. I could always ask her anything, including the time I was quite young and asked her what a "blow job" was. Yes, I asked my mothter and yes, she told me. Crazy stuff, I know.

Now that I have two daughters I am hoping against all odds that I foster the type of relationship with them that my Mom and I have always had. I remember getting mad at my Mom, of course, and swearing I wouldn't speak to her for days (Ha, as much as I can talk I'm sure she'd have been ok with that) and only lasting a few hours, if that. She has always been there for me. I have very strong memories of my childhood and most include my Mother. I can hear her voice when I read 'Charlotte's Web' to my daughter or when I hear 'Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus'. I remember when my Mom read that to me, where she sat, how my room was arranged, everything so clearly.

I have learned how to love, how to let go and how to grieve from my Mom. I have learned to appreciate books, music, history, musicals and wine from my Mom. If I have a question about anything (well, almost) she is the first person I call. She is who I want in my corner, who I want to impress, who I want to please and the last person I would ever want to disappoint. I guess that's all part of what happens when you are a good Mom. I respect her. I love her. I hope I can be the Mom to my kids that she has always been to me.

As I've gotten older our relationship has changed. We go out together, drink wine together and, of course, shop together. We have a good time. I enjoy being with her and seeing her with my kids. I want them to know her the way I do. To see all the amazing qualities she has, to see how smart she is, to see all that she has to offer them and all that they can learn from her.