Gamecock Mama

Molly's 5th Birthday

2012-01-18T20:19:00.000-05:00

Clearly I have not blogged in quite awhile. Wonder if anyone is even still out there...hello? Hellooooooo...

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the world. she can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves yet just when you open your mouth she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.
-- Alan Beck

I try to post on the kids' birthdays. I missed a few, but am trying to get back on track. Tomorrow, January 19th my sweet Molly turns 5. I can hardly believe it has already been 5 years, and yet I find it difficult to remember my life before she came scratching and clawing (quite literally, actually, but I won't share that part of the story) her way into the world.

Molly is, in a nutshell, my firecracker. She is all energy, all heart and meets each day with a vivaciousness and vigor that is exhausting to watch at times! She lives each moment of each day to the absolute fullest. Her enthusiasm for life is as contagious as her tears when something upsets her, she can make you laugh with her as easily as she can make you cry with her.

This year I watched Molly become a little girl, not so much a baby girl. She will tell you her favorite colors are pink and purple, she enjoys Barbie dolls, Disney Princesses, Paper Dolls, Polly Pockets and playing Mommy to her Cabbage Patch baby "Emily". Abby enjoyed a few of these things but was never very "girlie-girlie", Molly, on the other hand seems to be finding great joy in all things "Pinkalicious".

It is so much fun to watch Molly mother her baby dolls. She has asked me to show her the proper way to hold the bottle, change the baby's diapers and swaddle her. I treasure these moments with my sweet girl. At the same time that she seems to be embracing her "girlie" side she is still my strong, amazingly brave girl. This past month she scaled a 35 foot climbing wall as a crowd grew to watch in amazement. There is nothing this girl can't do, I am convinced, and the best part? So is she.

Molly seems to slowly be outgrowing the breathing issues. We have only had a couple of episodes the past few months, but when it flares up I am right there to calm her, cuddle her, love her. I try to embrace the middle of the night treatments as I know our moments when everyone else is asleep and it's just the two of us are going to become more and more rare.

Since Julio works night shift four nights a week and since the kids are only with me every other week, I let them rotate nights in my bed. I don't let them do it all the time, but it is so very special to me to cuddle with them and listen to them breathe as they drift off to sleep. I find myself staring at them and sneaking kisses on their cheeks as they softly slumber.

So here I sit, another birthday in the books. Time sure does fly, but I have learned to embrace and appreciate every single moment with the kids.

What I wanted most for my daughter was that she be able to

soar confidently in her own sky, whatever that may be.

-- Helen Claes

Sometimes We ALL Need to Scream

2011-08-23T20:28:00.000-04:00

"I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream."
Temple Grandin

This sums up my Bethanie. Bethanie is Julio's youngest daughter and my "born in my heart" daughter. On Friday, after over six months of waiting for appointments, a day of intensive testing for Bethanie and another week of waiting for results we heard the words we knew were coming but needed to hear from a Dr, "Bethanie has autism". I can tell you Julio and I both went through a range of emotions that day, (truth be told we still are), we were relieved, sad, worried, overwhelmed, anxious, and ready to get to work.

Julio and I have known for quite a while that something was wrong. We did what we always do, we read, studied, discussed, asked questions and finally came to the conclusion, on our own, that Bethanie had autism. At first we suspected Asperger's Syndrome, but her difficulties with speech lead us to the conclusion it was more involved and most likely autism. She does not have problems with pronunciation, her speech issues are with getting her brain and mouth to connect. She knows, as Dr. Grandin, says above, what she wants to say, but just can't get the words out. She has meltdowns. She "spirals" as Julio and I call it. You can see the frustration mounting, and luckily, we now know to be on the lookout for this and tend to stop it before it gets to out of control. She has difficulty transitioning. We knew all these things, and more, would add up to autism, we just needed an official diagnosis.

Bethanie's pediatrician, Dr. Philip McGaha, has been wonderful and so supportive during this journey. He has helped us with medications, appointments, and regularly exchanges emails and personal phone calls with us. We could not ask for more. He referred us to the Medical University of South Carolina's Developmental Pediatrics Department. We were excited. Until they called us (this was in about February) with our appointment in...NOVEMBER! We have since found out it would have taken us at least two more months to get the results and diagnosis! Insane. Dr. McGaha's office got to work and we were able to secure an appointment with a woman that helped start the program at MUSC but is now in private practice. It was for August, at this point we were happy it was at least 3 months sooner. Bethanie was tested and we met with her the following week, this past Friday, were she confirmed our beliefs and suspicions.

Now the fun part. Julio works for Roper Hospital. Roper funds their own insurance, therefore they do not fall under Ryan's Law in South Carolina which mandates insurance companies cover autism therapies, Dr's appointments, etc. They fall under federal law and apparently their is no mandate for them to cover autism. Julio called to appeal this decision and was told because there are federal and state assistance programs for children with autism they do not and will not cover it. Nothing. Not her psychiatrist appointments, not her therapies, not her medications, not her testing appointment which finally diagnosed her (which was around $700), nothing. It's like they just decided "poof, it doesn't exist". How very infuriating and frustrating. Just what we need as we navigate all the things we need to do to help her we also have to figure out how to pay for all she needs! Families going through all this should NOT have to deal with insurance red tape. It is inhumane. It is simply wrong.

Bethanie is high functioning. She was diagnosed with mild to moderate autism, however, the Doctor was very impressed with some of her skills. She said Bethanie would make an excellent architect one day or graphic designer, as she LOVES patterns and sees them everywhere! However, to get Bethanie to that point we need to give her every bit of help we can find. Things that encourage her, increase her self esteem, help her learn to cope with her struggles. Julio's insurance company just wants no part of it. We are raising six kids. It isn't easy financially and this just makes it down right frightening. We will figure it all out and Bethanie will get every bit of help we can find, but we shouldn't have to be fighting insurance companies at the same time. I feel a bit like Dr. Grandin, I know what I want to say (to that insurance company) but can't and therefore I think I will just go scream for awhile.

Mother's Intuition?

2011-06-27T15:09:00.001-04:00

Is it mother's intuition or just coincidence?

This morning I took Molly and Zach and dropped them off at their daycare. I have had them the past 7 days and this afternoon their Dad will pick them up and he will have them the next 7 days. We just started this new, simplified schedule last week, for the past year we have shared custody but the most I'd go without seeing the kids is 3 days, now it will be seven. I have gone seven days without seeing them before, just not that often. We decided to give this schedule a try for many reasons, less transition days, more consistency, etc. I do think it will be a good thing.

However, this morning after I got back in my car from dropping my babies off, I cried. The ugly, sobbing kind of crying. We had a an amazing week together and I just wanted to hold my babies. I found my reaction a bit out of the ordinary. I always miss them, but rarely do I cry like that anymore. I came home and cried on Julio's shoulder for a bit, fixed my makeup and went about my day. The entire time with this nagging feeling that I just couldn't pin point.

Then it came. About 12:00 daycare called and said Molly just didn't seem to be feeling good. They took her temperature and it was 100 degrees, not enough for her to go home, but they wanted to let me know. I decided to go get her. She has a stomach bug. She is now sound asleep in her bed and I know what was bothering me. I think, somehow, perhaps subconsciously I realized something wasn't quite right.

The reason I think perhaps it is a mother's intuition is because the same thing used to happen when Abby was little. Her Dad and I were still married, so I didn't have the anxiety of being separated for any length of time. However, there were some days when I'd drop her off and then I'd be sad and just wasn't able to stop thinking about her all day. Inevitably it was on these days that her school would call because she was under the weather. Every single time. She, like Molly today, would have been showing no outward signs or symptoms of being sick, yet obviously something was brewing just under the surface.

So, you decide, mother's intuition, coincidence or maybe a little of both?

3 Years, Already?

2011-06-19T12:06:00.001-04:00

"You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."

Author: Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

I can hardly believe another year has passed, my sweet baby boy turned 3 this past week. I've said it before, but wow, what fun boys are! My little guy will tell you and anyone that asks he is "Momma's Boy" (not to be confused with a momma boy). He is loving, cuddly and just an overall sweet kid. Of course Julio will tell you my opinion is slightly colored as apparently Zach has learned he needs only have one person in his corner and that's his Mom.

Julio will rebuke him and he will cozy up to me and try and give me this big cheesy grin as if to say, "c'mon Mom, it's ME? Remember? I can do this, or get away with that, right?" I hate to admit it but I do melt, every.single.time. I do not however always give in. I do quite often break his little heart and send him to time outs as well.

I have enjoyed watching my little boy grow and develop his favorite things. Around the time he turned 2 his favorite movie was "Annie". He would come home from his Dad's, or anywhere for that matter, and would immediately starting shouting for "Annie". This phase passed and "Alvin and the Chimpmunks the Squeakual" took it's place. Next came "Jaws". Yes, my two year old (and his 3 year old sister) have fallen in love with this horror flick. I'm not sure whether to be frightened or proud of the fact they simply watch to movie and laugh at the special effects.

Around Christmas time, Zach's favorite became Thomas the tank engine and Chuggington. This lasted about six months, though he still likes Thomas, he discovered Buzz Lightyear was pretty cool, and now the current favorite is definitely "Cars", specifically "Mater". This brings us to his birthday that was filled with all things "Mater". Luckily "Cars" memorabilia are much, much cheaper than Thomas paraphernalia. I only wonder what will be next. Currently his room is decorated in Gamecock gear, a train table that is covered in Thomas the Train, army men, Buzz Lightyear and dinosaurs. Oh the difference between girls and boys. I have relished every moment of watching him develop and become more of a little boy and less of a baby boy. After years of baby dolls, Disney Princesses, pink, pink and more pink, it has been a lot of fun to welcome, cars, trucks, and trains into my life. Everyone told me boys were so different, especially in the way they love their Momma's. I am so glad to be able to say they are so right. The love between a mother and a son is one of life's treasures. Don't get me wrong a mother and a daughter have a special bond, but there is just something about a son.

Happy 3rd Birthday, baby boy!

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."

Author: Douglas MacArthur

Zach and His First Date

2011-06-01T21:21:00.001-04:00

My sweet, innocent, adorable, almost 3 year old had his first date last Friday, followed a day later by his second date. Wow, how time flies, they are starting younger and younger these days. It should be noted it was with an older woman too, she's 22. Let me explain.

Since Zach started daycare last August he has been in love, I mean LOOOOVE, with his teacher, Miss Megan. I thought this "Megan" was a girl in his class for the first few days. He went on and one and on about Megan. Then I put two and two together and figured out it was his teacher that he was going on about. This "romance" has blossomed all year long. Megan even tells me Zach notices the smallest things about her, like a new necklace or new toenail polish. If she sneezes or coughs he quickly asks, "are you sick?" He will race down the hall to his class to jump in Miss Megan's arms each morning, without a look back and only a casual, "bye Mom".

On Megan's birthday a few weeks ago, Zach surprised her with flowers:

Oh how the other teachers, ooed and ahhhed and talked about Zach's well known crush. He even looks at her with a shy little grin that would make you melt.

Well, Megan has become a much trusted and underpaid babysitter to our tribe. This past Friday night Julio and I decided we needed a night out so we enlisted Megan's services, once again. Only this time we decided to let Zach take Megan on a "date". Megan arrived at the appointed hour (Zach decided she should drive to prove he was a modern kind of guy) and Julio set him down to have a "chat":

Zach was dressed in his finest Thomas the train collared shirt and matching shorts and Julio proceeded to explain to him how to be a gentleman. Then Zach asked for money. This picture is Julio "loaning" Zach $20 for his hot date at McDonald's. Zach put the money in his pocket and kept it there until it was time to pay. He then let Megan order her food and his, (again proving he is modern like that and can let her order for him instead of vice versa), and he pulled the $20 out of his pocket to pay.

Megan was kind enough to even let Zach show his stuff on the the indoor play ground. He climbed for her, slid down the slides for her and even shot a few hoops. When he felt he had significantly impressed his date they came home and said good night. I think they look pretty happy:

I'm not sure, but I get the impression Megan was expecting a kiss, she appears to be leaning in for one, but I believe Zach played it a little coy, at least in front of his Mom:

And, the best part? They had a second date the next day as Megan took Zach to his Daddy's wedding! Wow, a second date the next day and to a wedding at that! I think I have a little Don Juan on my hands! Apparently the neighbors even approved as all the men were giving Zach thumbs up as they left!

They really grow up too fast these days...

What Else??

2011-05-09T20:38:00.001-04:00

Boy has it been busy lately. I feel as if my head is spinning. It started last month when I took a week off to be with the kids. Ok, so the week was great, but it put me a week behind at work, so I was running crazy. Then came May...

May has been crazy, already, and that is putting it mildly. Abby began her 3rd year of swim team, which I love, but practice is every single day. This only goes on until early July, and it is totally worth it, but I have to work every day around her schedule (her Dad made it clear if I wanted her to be on swim team then all practices and meets were on me) such is motherhood. Then, I just picked up all the Piggly Wiggly grocery stores in my area plus the headquarters plus two 10,000 plus square foot warehouses where I not only need to restock and reorganize 30+ first aid cabinets, but I also have to hang them all. Now this would be a tall order on a month where I am working each day, but then...

Zach got sick. Ugh. I got a call from daycare that he had a fever midday last Tuesday and he is just now starting to get back to his old self. So I have missed a lot of work. Zach had Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. The poor little guy has been plagued by fever and blisters/ulcers on the inside of his mouth. He's been in a lot of pain and very fussy this entire time. That alone is exhausting, now couple in...

Molly has also been sick. She has been stricken with her seasonal, horrible, keep you up at night, coughing fits. We have done cough meds around the clock and breathing treatments. Today she stayed home and cuddled and played with Julio. I think she is turning the corner, but it's tough hearing her cough so badly and feeling so helpless, it really weighs on a Mom. Then...

Abby came down with a cough and cold yesterday. I got to be bad guy today and decided she needed to stay out of the pool and miss practice. She was not too happy with me, but I am hoping she will be able to go back tomorrow. Since she's gotten older she doesn't tend to get too many colds and they never last long so here's hoping. Ok, to top it all off...

I woke up yesterday in serious back pain. All I can figure is I must have slept on it wrong. At one point I was doubled over on the bathroom floor in tears and couldn't get help. I couldn't even catch my breath enough to call for Julio. Luckily Zach finally came in and when I asked him to get Julio he ran out...to color at the table with his sisters! Apparently he eventually matter of factly informed them "Mommy's crying in the bathroom", which Julio heard. I had tried to text him, but he didn't hear his phone. I managed to make it in the hot tub, rested most of the day and am feeling better, though sore, today.

Of course, staying in bed all day put me behind on my household chores. Julio tried to help (and he did take good care of me), but, well, let's just say there is still a lot to be done. I have managed to straighten some tonight, organize my Piggly Wiggly accounts, plan my month in sales-somewhat, and pull paperwork together for my real estate agent--since I got home today. Oh, did I forget to mention I also put my house on the market last week?

Have I lost my mind?? I guess feeling a little overwhelmed tonight is understandable, right?? Now someone please come disinfect my house and my kids, please! And if anyone wants to offer to clean house for me I would be ever so appreciative.

Spring Break???

2011-04-25T21:36:00.000-04:00

Spring Break?? Huh. I'm not really sure about the "break" part, as I definitely worked harder last week, during my vacation, than I do when I'm working! But what a great week! I have reflected all day today about what an amazing week I had with my kids. I spent a lot of time trying to plan in advance some activity to do each day with the kids. So here is how our week played out once I picked them up from their Dad's Monday at 1:00:

First up, the Aquarium:
The kids just loved the sharks. I think they were the favorite, of course Molly and Zach LOVE the movie, "Jaws", so no real surprise there! The albino alligator was a pretty big hit too, as well as the touch tank.

Then we went for some ice cream. Zach and Bethanie chose Bubble Gum Ice Cream, with real bits of bubble gum. Ick. But, I believe it was, at one time, my favorite, too. What a perfect end to our first day of vacation!

Next up, Papa's visit:
My Dad came down to hang out and see us. It was a big treat since we hadn't seen him since Molly's birthday in January. We took the kids to McDonald's for a quick lunch and play time (and of course, more ice cream).

On Thursday we decided to take it a little easier and we stayed home. But, we played in the yard in a little kiddie pool and yard toys. The kids stayed in the yard almost all day! Then the girls and I indulged in a little pampering with some manicures and pedicures.

Friday was our trip to Magnolia Plantation. We were a little worried because as soon as we got out of the van it thundered so loudly that we jumped back in the van! We decided to go get some lunch at Moe's and wait for the storm to pass. By the time we got back out to the plantation the rain had stopped, momentarily. We were able to enjoy the petting zoo between showers. The kids were even able to hold a little bunny rabbit, a big hit! The petting zoo at Magnolia has deer, chickens, rabbits, peacocks, snakes, owls, ducks, you name it! Then we loaded on the "train" and took our tour of the magnificent plantation. The kids were thrilled we were able to secure front seats, until it started raining! We got soaked! But we just laughed in the rain and relished in it. We stopped at the house on the plantation to visit with Nana (she is a guide in the house) and one more trip to the petting zoo before leaving. It was so much fun!

Saturday was probably everyone's favorite. We first made a quick trip to Walmart and then the farmer's market. Then it was home to dye eggs and make a carrot cake before lying down for a bit of quiet time. Finally we loaded up and all of us went to see "Rio". It was the cutest movie, but my favorite part was when Zach fell asleep in my arms. For dinner we went to CiCi's Pizza. Now, obviously, it is not my favorite place to go eat, however, it is very cheap (right at $30) for a family of 6 and the kids love that they are able to go up to the bar and get their own food and drink. We always sit close enough that they are able to feel a bit of independence and it is good for them.

Sunday we awoke to a yard full of Easter Eggs. We gave Molly and Zach a bit of a head start before we let Bethanie and Abby out to scoop up and find all the treasures. They came back in the house to find their Easter Baskets. The biggest hit had to be the light up cups they all received. Nana and Uncle Will joined us for a wonderful lunch of ham, mac and cheese, green beans (fresh from the farmer's market), fruit salad, jello and rolls. We then enjoyed our yummy carrot cake that we made the day before.

Abby did corner me and ask about the Easter Bunny. Seems my little girl has discovered that their really isn't an Easter Bunny. We had a nice little chat about it and I believe she was ready to hear the truth as she had already figured it out. She is quite excited that next year she gets to help hide the eggs! Of course it was only a matter of time before she began asking about Santa Claus...sighs...I knew it was coming but it is a bit sad, too.

Today I took Molly and Zach to daycare and as I prepared to drop Molly off she hugged me tightly and her eyes filled with tears. She didn't fuss or make a scene, but I realized she was displaying how I felt inside, so sad to see our week come to an end. It was an amazing week. I was so fortunate to spend so much time with my kids. They are all four amazing children and my heart just swells with love as I reflect on all we shared. The hugs, cuddle times, laughs and stories. I am so proud to be their Mom and I cherish every moment with them.

Tina Fey's Prayer for Her Child...I so get it!

2011-04-18T20:36:00.000-04:00

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

(That my friends, is what you call good writing. Pick up Tina Fey’s bookBossypants for more.)

An Ending and A New Beginning

2011-03-23T19:56:00.000-04:00

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.” -Helen Rowland

Today I finalized my divorce to the man I married 10 years ago. It was a fairly anti climatic ending to one of the hardest years of my life. We walked into the court room, answered a few questions and bam with the slam of a gavel I was no longer married. Ed and I spent the morning waiting for our turn in court talking about the kids, laughing about things Abby had done when she was little, talking about Carolina football and baseball, and just trying to keep our nerves at bay. To the casual observer we probably looked more like two friends catching up than two people about to finalize their divorce.

I guess that really sums up Ed and me. We were always good friends. It was the whole marriage part we weren't so good at, we didn't make each other happy as husband and wife. It took us a while to finally come to grips with that, but luckily, I believe we did soon enough that we didn't grow to hate each other. We have three beautiful kids together and we share 50/50 custody so we have to get along. We both decided the kids are the most important and we will do whatever it takes to ensure their happiness and health.

Ed is a great Dad, he loves his kids and would do anything for them. For this I am eternally grateful. These babies know they are very loved, secure and safe. That is all I could ever ask for. They are all thriving, Abby came home with straight A's today for the third quarter in a row, Molly and Zach are learning more every day and having a ball at their church preschool. I look forward and relish in every moment I spend with them. For this reason alone I could never regret my marriage to Ed. It is because of him I have Abby, Molly and Zach. It is because of him I am a Mom. No matter how painful this past year has been, no matter how many tears I shed, how many sleepless nights I suffered, I would not change a thing, it was all worth it for these three children.

My Little Engineer

2011-01-27T21:20:00.001-05:00

Molly and Abby had their four year old and eight year old check ups today. Julio's Mom, Cookie, and I took the girls in together. Everything went well, from Molly reading the eye chart for the first time, to her first hearing test to her first "pee in the cup" test. I was super proud of her. The girls are very healthy, but were due for their annual finger sticks and shots. Abby had to get 2 shots, a Hepatitis A and the first dose of a flu shot. Molly, on the other had had to get 4. *Sigh*

Now, Molly was ready, or as ready as she could be, as I am a big fan of preparing a kid. Last night I told her she would likely have to get a few shots, but that we would, of course, go for milk shakes afterwards. Now she wasn't too happy about it, but she did not pout too badly and pretty much just laughed and played with her sister throughout the appointment. That is until our doctor left the room to go get the nurses and the shots.

Molly kept playing, but suddenly, Cookie and I noticed she had placed the chair behind the door, had slid a trash can behind the door, and was looking at the table to see if she could move it behind the door. She was barricading the nurses out so they couldn't come in and give her the shots! We all laughed so hard. This is a very clever four year old who has obviously watched one too many "Tom and Jerry" episodes. When I told her to put everything back, she looked for other options and promptly took a clip board and propped it against the door along with the rolling chair. OK, so that probably wasn't going to do the trick, but it made her feel better, at least until the door opened.

For the record Abby didn't shed a tear and Molly didn't when they pricked her finger, however the four shots in her two legs upset her quite severely. I just melt when I see those big tears falling from those big blue eyes. She really tried to not cry, but it was just a little too much to bear. I haven't had the heart to tell her we have to go back in a month for her and Abby to get a second dose of the flu vaccine. I won't, either, until the night before, most likely.

Anyway, I just had to share what my future engineer was up to today in the doctor's office. Quite clever trying to barricade the nurses out. I don't think she had gotten far enough in the plan to discover we had to leave, eventually! I guess maybe the plan needed a little work!

A Child's Prayer

2011-01-23T20:44:00.001-05:00

This weekend we celebrated Molly's 4th birthday. This was the first year we invited her friends, as in all honesty, this is the first year she's really had many friends since she only just started daycare in August. I knew it would be a lot of work (not to mention a bit expensive), cleaning house, organizing decorations, food, etc, and boy was it. It was also a lot of fun. The joy in Molly's eyes as her friends began to arrive, as they played "Just Dance" on the Wii, enjoyed cake and ice cream and, of course, the gifts was priceless.

By the time everyone left last night to say I was exhausted would be an understatement. My muscles were sore (most likely from the yard work I did the day before in preparation for the party) and my body was completely worn out. I was ready for bed at 7:00! However, tonight at bed time Molly showed her appreciation in such a special way that it brought tears to my eyes.

I went and curled up on the bed with all 4 kids and read some books. One of them, "What Happens When I Pray" is a great book that discusses prayer on a child's level. When we were finished with the book I said a prayer and the kids decided they also would like to pray. When it was Molly's turn her prayer was very simple, "Dear God, Thank you so much for my Mom. She is the best Mom ever and I love her so, so, so very much. Thank you for her. Amen."

I just cried. Abby even leaned over and hugged me then hugged Molly. I placed my hands on Molly's sweet little face, looked her in the eyes and simply said, "Thank you". Wow. I was so incredibly moved. What a great end to the weekend and an amazing reminder to me that though it may be hard work, the time spent with our kids is so special and dear to them. It wasn't the decorations or the clean house that meant the most to Molly, it was the time we all spent together. I have learned in the past 6 months to make every moment with the kids count. It has definitely been a mutually beneficial experience. I look forward to continuing to make those memories and make that precious time together count. I thank God every day for the amazing kids he has blessed me and trusted me with..

Happy 4th Birthday Molly-Pops!

2011-01-19T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today my sweet, sweet Molly, or "Molly-Pops" as we like to call her, is four years old. Wow. Time has flown, yet it seems like yesterday that I was in the hospital anxiously awaiting her arrival. So many words can be used to describe my baby girl: dynamic, larger than life, strong, funny, smart, athletic, girlie, and loving.

Molly is a child of extremes. When she was a baby, all buckled and secure in her car seat, nothing made her happier than when I would swing her car seat back and forth. By swing, I mean a 180 degree angle, back and forth, rapidly. She like to be rocked as well, but rocked quickly, not gently. She was climbing my chest of drawers and to the tops of my counters by 2, could hang upside down on the swing set by 2 and has yet to slow down. She is athletic and extremely strong.

Today Molly is with her Dad. I did go up to her school to take special pink cupcakes with pink icing and sugared pearl sprinkles. She jumped into my arms as I walked in the room. I was able to hang out with her for about 30 minutes. I read to her class and held her the entire time. It was really hard being away from her today, but I am concentrating on her special party we have planned for Saturday. This will be her first party with friends, not just family invited. I am planning on hot dogs, smores and a pinata! I really am not sure who is more excited, Molly or me.

Molly has a laugh and a smile that starts at her toes and spreads through her body to the top of her head. When she laughs you can't help but laugh with her. You will do anything to keep her laughing and smiling because when she is sad she can break your heart. I have been through many heartbreaking moments with Molly, a lot of these coming when she was sick. Molly and I have spent many long nights together as she struggled to breathe. Molly suffers from asthma like symptoms when she gets a bad cold. For the past several years I have feared the change in seasons in the Fall and Spring, as this was when her episodes flared up. Last Spring was especially difficult and Molly and I spent several nights rushing to the emergency room, once even being transported to the Children's Hospital via ambulance. These were all very scary, truly terrifying events for me. It is awful to see your child struggling to breathe and not be able to do anything about it. I had to learn how to be calm in order to calm her. As difficult as these nights were for us, I am so glad I was able to be there with her. Every breath I helped her take, every tear I wiped from her eyes just helped us grow closer. I am hopeful that Molly is starting to out grow these episodes. Abby was about this age when she outgrew them and Molly had a much smoother fall season and so far it has been months since we have had to use the nebulizer.

I could go on and on about this child, about her love for her older sisters, her amazing closeness to her baby brother, her intelligence, etc, but what Mom couldn't about her kids?? Today, Molly is four. I am so proud to be her Mother. She is an amazing little girl that amazes me more every single day. I cherish every moment with her (as I do with all my kids) and so look forward to watching her grow and become an amazing person.

The Year of Thomas and Peace

2010-12-28T16:46:00.000-05:00

Apparently this Christmas will forever been known as the year of Thomas the Train and Peace signs. If there is anything with Thomas the train on it that we don't own at this point I would be very surprised. We have Thomas books, Thomas DVD's, Thomas underwear, Thomas shirts, Thomas pants, Thomas pajamas, a Thomas jacket, 3 different Thomas trains, a Thomas train table, a Thomas pillow, the list goes on...Zach is a full fledged Thomas fanatic.

Then there is my funky style, peace sign loving, Abby. If it has a peace sign on it she loves it. She has definitely developed her own sense of style: a little funky but very girlie. She wears a mixture of several different bracelet styles on each wrist, loves to layer a short sleeve, peace sign tee shirt over a long one, and of course, the jeans must have peace signs on them. She is currently pining away for a fancy pair of sneakers that are pink, glittery and has what else but peace signs all over them. If you look closely you will be able to see peace signs on the pink jammies she has on in the picture to the right!

Then there is Molly. Molly has fallen in love with the Care Bears. Bethanie can be credited with introducing Molly to the Bears. She arrived on the scene with 3 in tow and ever since Molly as secretly, and no so secretly, coveted them. The look on her face when she opened her Bedtime Bear from Nana was priceless. She was completely surprised and totally smitten. Her collection includes a computer game, a movie and several coloring books. She has already added Sunshine Bear to her wish list for her birthday, which is in 3 weeks. This is a very bright child. As soon as Christmas was over she quickly remember her birthday is coming up quickly and began to put in her requests!

Sweet Bethanie has found hours of enjoyment with Polly Pockets. I really knew she would. She loves to play with Barbies and I had a feeling she would love these as well. Nana gave her a Polly Pocket doll house that she has provided her with endless entertainment. I hope to be able to continue to add to her Polly collection, as it really is right up her ally. Bethanie is, of all the girls, our most "girlie", from the way she plays to the dainty way she walks. She is our princess.

Seems these children are starting to find their individual identities. It is a pleasure to watch them discover the things that make them happy. It is also quite enjoyable to watch how different they all are and for them to learn to embrace those differences, as we do.

Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

2010-12-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood is from when I first began questioning the existence of Santa Claus. I was about 8 years old and I can remember my Mom coming in to my room one night and reading to me the famous letter below from a fellow doubting little girl. I have found as I have grown the words to hit me a little differently and mean different things each time I have read it. This morning I had the opportunity to sit down with MY 8 year old and share this very same letter and amazing message. Did she understand all its underlying messages, doubtful, as neither did I as a young, innocent 8 year old. However, it is a tradition I will continue to share with her and hope, perhaps, one day she will share it with her own children and learn from it even then as I did this morning. Merry Christmas.

This was first published in New York's Sun as an unsigned editorial on September 21, 1897:

Question:

Dear Editor,
I am eight years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says "If you see it in the Sun it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon.
115 W.95th St

Answer:

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank GOD! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Bad Luck?

2010-10-17T17:03:00.000-04:00

I'm not really sure what is going on with me lately. Some might call it an extreme case of bad luck. I'm not sure if that is what it is or just a bunch of crap dealt my way all at once. Let me explain my last seven or so days.

It started last weekend with one itchy, watery eye. By Tuesday afternoon I had called the Dr and was on antibiotic drops for pink eye. In both eyes. By Wednesday I was home from work with two eyes practically swollen shut. On Friday my eyes were overall better but my right eye looked as if I had been punched in it with a huge broken blood vessel. (On a side note I sold one eye wash station last week for the first time and quoted two others, huh...think it had something to do with how horrible my own eyes looked??) On Friday I also began suffering from a horrible sore throat. I rested most of the day on Saturday hoping to feel better by the time my Mom and Will (my brother) came over. When they arrived I took some great drugs and did feel much better. We sat around enjoying a lovely dinner Will prepared and playing a few rounds of a great game called, "Finish Lines". I tell you this because during the course of the game, or at dinner, or at some point, anyway, we somehow began discussing how Will kicks and thrashes about the bed as he sleeps. He even mentioned how he quite often either wakes up on the floor or just before falling. I was astounded. "How can you fall off a King size bed?", "I haven't fallen out of the bed since I was a kid!" I gloated.

Well. Guess where I found myself at around 4am? Yep, you guessed it, on the floor. Now, let me tell you, my bed is a tall bed, it is quite high off the ground. I remember waking up to go to the bathroom, I threw the covers back and placed my right hand on the bed to swing my legs around, only to discover I was falling, my right hand hadn't landed on the bed, I missed. Completely. How you ask? I have no clue. I just know that it hurt and it felt, in the moment, as if I fell forever. I was half asleep and really out of it. My head hit the dresser, my wrist became sprained, my knee has a lovely carpet burn and my other leg is bruised. Yes, I know, I am the epitome of grace. I also can honestly attest that I scared the crap out of Julio who previously had been sound asleep!

So, is it bad luck or just a rough week? I have no clue, I only hope that whatever it is is out of my system and will allow me a great week this week, I've had enough!

Still Here!

2010-10-13T15:10:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! I know, I know, you probably don't even remember me! I miss my writing and you guys! It has been a crazy few months, but I believe things are finally settling down to a solid routine. I am feeling more at ease and happy with the transition with the kids, things are going great with Julio and Bethanie and I really couldn't be happier.

Abby is doing really great in school, Molly and Zach have adapted to daycare and are doing so well, Bethanie is even becoming her own person. The blossoming in all the kids that has already occurred this year is astounding.

I am going to try and get back to writing on a more regular basis and I hope you guys will all come back! I look forward to reading your updates and checking back in with all of you!

Changes

2010-09-01T16:38:00.000-04:00

I have to say, August was not one of my best months. I am quite happy to see that little bugger go. We went through a lot of changes in August. Ed and I decided to put Molly and Zach in daycare when school started back. Now, Molly is 3 and Zach is 2 and neither have spent a single day in daycare since they were born. Ed stayed home with them. Abby also had to go into after school care since Ed decided to go back to work. I guess, divorce kinda puts a kink in the best laid plans! Anyway, it's been a rough couple of weeks.

Abby, of course, is doing great. I actually got a call from her teacher the other day expressing what an amazing job she is doing. She is still in a single gender classroom and that girl is just thriving. She didn't like after school care at first, but now loves it. Her homework is done by the time we pick her up and she is ready to just relax and play. Abby is my solid girl, just no worries there.

Zach has adjusted quite well to day care. He and Molly are going to a large Baptist church care here in town and I am quite pleased with the level of care. I pack their lunches each day, something I've never done, but I have gotten into a pretty good routine with it, I do believe.

Molly, on the other hand, has struggled. Today was the first time that she did not cry prior to being dropped off or while being dropped off. At first she came home crying, went to bed crying, woke up crying...there were a lot of tears. I was calling the school each day to make sure she was OK, which she always was. This week, however, it cooled off enough for her to be able to go out on the playground. This has made her world right side up once again. That child loves to be outside. I have received some wonderfully, kind notes from her teachers each day as well.

So the daycare/school transition seems to finally be smoothing out.

Now the next transition. This one is the hardest for me, though I know after much thought and discussion with many people that it is the right thing to do. Since Ed is no longer keeping the kids during the day we have decided to share custody. Apparently more and more divorced parents are going to this system. On top of that more and more family court judges are ruling in favor of shared custody. Obviously it was Ed's idea. I will admit that, I just assumed he would see them every other weekend and maybe an evening during the week. When he first approached me with this I was blown away. But, I am the type of person to react first and then once I calm down discuss it with as many people as will listen, I usually can look at things rationally.

This is the best of both worlds for the kids. As Ed said, why do I have anymore right to them than he does? He is the one that stayed home the past few years, he made sacrifices just as I did. Also? He is very close with the kids and I support that. So, I will have them for a few days, then he will, and we will rotate it such we each have them every other weekend and no longer than 3 days without seeing them. It works out to them being with each parent 50% of the time. At first I worried about the kids feeling they were constantly shuffled. I think we can avoid this. Part of our deal with trying this is the understanding it will only work if we are on good terms. Let me tell you, Ed and I have not gotten along so well since long before we split up.

We both want what is best for our kids. They come first. Part of what is best for the kids is seeing that their parents are friendly. This does make things easier, especially when the kids are as young as ours are, it just makes it smoother for them. Does it break my heart to pack up half of their clothes? You bet ya. It is tearing me apart on the inside. However, I also know that having 3 young kids is very hard. Patience wears thin. I promise you I am spending more time with my kids now, physically, than ever before. When they are here at my house I am tuned into them. This is part of the reason I haven't been blogging as much, from the time they get home until the time they go to bed they pretty much have all my attention. I am fresher, I am nicer, and I am much more fun for them to be around because I make the most of every single minute with them.

How many times, have we all put something before our time with our kids, or fussed at them a little more because we took for granted there was always tomorrow to try again. Well for me, every second now counts and I make sure I am completely present with them. This arrangement is already working in the best interest of my kids.

You know, I've always heard the old saying, "to have a child is to forever have your heart walking around outside of your body". I never realized how true that was until I learned I have to let go a little in order to get a lot back in the long run. My kids are amazing, happy, well rounded, joyful children. I will do everything I possibly can to continue fostering their growth and to make sure they never doubt how very much they are loved and that I will always be here to offer them a "soft place to land".

Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths-a follow up

2010-08-25T19:40:00.000-04:00

A while back I wrote a post on Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths. I questioned whether it was true that you could get struck by lightning in your tub/shower/house. Well, I am now posting an interesting follow up to that post.

We had a pretty nasty thunderstorm on Sunday. Julio and I were in the kitchen talking, he was by the sink, I was standing by the dishwasher. There was a very loud clap of thunder and I instantly saw a flash, a spark and heard a "pop". I had been struck! Mind you it was just a little spark, but nonetheless, I had been struck by lightning! OMG, ya'll! I yelped, then just kinda stood there staring at Julio like, "did that just happen?" I burst into tears. It really scared me!

I was standing with my hip next to the metal bracket that mounts the dishwasher and apparently lightning struck somewhere near my house and traveled up through my dishwasher. I noticed on Tuesday that I actually had a little bruise where it had hit me. It really was just a little jolt, nothing all that major, but it certainly shook me up a bit!

I am so glad Julio was standing next to me, because I know he would have never believed me otherwise! He actually saw the little spark and heard the "pop" as it struck. What a surreal experience!

Anxiety and the Peacekeeper

2010-08-17T20:35:00.000-04:00

You know, life is hard. Ha, bet that came as a shock, huh? I am working, and have been working, so very hard, at not letting other people control my moods. It is amazing the power and control we willingly hand over to other people (especially to people that really have no concern for our happiness) in regards to our moods and feelings. I have always been prone to anxiety. Because of this I can easily go from a terrific mood to a sour one based simply on something someone says to me or how they say it. I can obsess for hours over something someone said, how they said it, what they really meant and what this is going to mean in the long run. This is especially true as I navigate the slippery, rocky, bumpy trail that is divorce.

I am also a peace keeper, which goes quite nicely with my anxiety. I would prefer to be inconvenienced, worn out, put off, whatever, if it means the other person is happy and if it means I avoid a confrontation. Mainly this is because confrontation puts my stomach in knots. I obsess over it, I let it control my mood. Therefore, simply put, I tend to let others dictate my moods. I realized today, once again, that this gives way to much power to people other than myself.

What rational person would let someone ruin their perfectly wonderful day with just a few simple words or a few minutes of conversation? Well, up until recently, me. And, truth be told it is very difficult for me not to. However, with this post I vow to change that. I vow to not let others, who really have no interest in my happiness whatsoever, control my mood. I vow to learn to accept things at face value. I am a fairly intelligent woman this is just one area of my life that needs a serious revamping.

Can I do it? Can I learn to "shake things off"? Can I learn to not obsess so much over things I really have no control? Can I learn to not give so much power over my feelings to others? It's going to take some time and some serious work but I am certainly going to try. Do any of you have any advice for me? Has anyone else had to deal with this? I welcome any and all advice.

See that each hour’s feelings, and thoughts and actions are pure and true; then your life will be also. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

First Day of School 2010

2010-08-16T20:57:00.000-04:00

The kids all started school today. Abby in 2nd grade, Bethanie in Kindegarten, Molly in 3 year old preschool and Zach in 2 year old class. Whew! What a morning! But it was a great day for all! I told Julio from now on we are taking the first day of school as a vacation/mental health day, heck, after all it takes to get them ready these days, we deserve it!

Here are a few pics of the happy bunch:

Here's hoping for a happy and successful school year! And a regular routine...I am soooo ready for it!

Potty Training Victories

2010-08-13T16:12:00.000-04:00

About two weeks ago Zach started asking to go potty. For four straight days he asked just before he had to go "poopie"...and yes, he "pooped" in the potty once a day for those four straight days. Needless to say I was shocked and figured it must just be a fluke, afterall, Molly just finished training a few months ago. Not to mention the "poopie" part was the hardest for her and is for a lot of kids, to think he was doing that first?? No way.

Well, I have been on vacation this week and on Wednesday Julio bought big boy underwear for Zach and all day yesterday and today he's been in them. He has gone "potty" more times than he hasn't and has only had a couple of accidents. I am really in shock. Can it really be this easy?
Oh to have my last child out of diapers is a dream come true!

He isn't completely there, yet...I mean, ya'll...this child is still sleeping in a crib! He just turned 2 on June 11th. I haven't bothered changing the crib to the toddler bed as he has been quite content sleeping in the crib. He has not tried to climb out and apparently feels quite secure. So, for now, I just put on his "sleep pants" aka diaper while he's sleeping and as soon as he gets up I put him back in his big boy pants.

He starts daycare on Monday and they are more than happy to help continue the training so I think we are about to say goodbye to diapers for the final time. I am just over the moon excited.

Wow, who knew it could be this easy! This is one smart kid!

Republicanish? Not so much...

2010-08-01T11:22:00.000-04:00

This is a type of post I have not previously written a lot of in the past. It is a political post. I write them from time to time, and when I do I usually get quite a bit of positive feedback and some negative, and that is always welcome, too! So here we go:

I have not really talked about my personal political beliefs very often, at least not on this blog and not on twitter or facebook. However, as you can see I am a card carrying member of the South Carolina Republican Party. This runs pretty deep. I was a delegate for our county in the last major election. As a matter of fact my very first baby bracelet? It was a sterling silver elephant. I was born a republican. I have been a republican. Well, that is until the past little while.

My family and I have always discussed current events and politics. It was dinner conversation growing up and wine and cheese conversations now that I am an adult. My brother was always a staunch democrat and I, a pretty strong republican. Over the past few years, however, we have both started coming closer together in our beliefs. I began questioning whether or not I was truly "republican" or not. I called myself "republicanish". Don't get me wrong, I have NEVER, not one time, voted a straight ticket. I do not vote for someone simply because there is an "R" beside their name. I have voted for a few Democrats over the years. However, predominantly I felt most closely aligned with the beliefs and views of republicans.

I have engaged in a number of conversations with Julio, whom, if you have ever read his blog, you will know is the furthest thing from a republican! Actually he used to be, believe it or not, but is no where close to being a republican these days. We have had so many conversations where he will point out some crazy thing some republican or republican group has said. I have, for quite some time, maintained that the squeaky wheels get the grease, the crazies get the news and that the things he is quoting and reading are nothing more than fringe groups. That the majority of republicans do not feel the way these crazy people do. However, I have to say I am beginning to think these fringe groups are taking over the mainstream more and more.

I awoke this morning to find an email from the website Conservative.SC. I get a ton of political emails, mainly because of my membership in the Dorchester County Republican Party. I tend to ignore the vast majority of them, however, this one caught my attention. It was about a blog entitled: When Did Homosexual Parenting Become Mainstream?. I decided to check it out.

I don't think I had ever visited this website before and I do believe there may be some useful information on it. However, I was quite astounded by this post and by the comments that followed it. Most of you know my brother is gay. He is the best uncle you could ever imagine. He kept my kids all yesterday afternoon while I was away at a meeting for work. I came home to find he had bathed them and they were getting ready to eat dinner. They were happy and had had a great day with their uncle. I cannot wait until my brother has kids. He will make the most amazing dad. His parenting abilities have absolutely nothing to do with his homosexuality. Nothing.

The comments on this blog consisted of the following:

I personally think it is outrageously disgusting. Our law makers are to blame for allowing this filth to get into the class rooms, they will pander to the Homosexual's for a vote.

Perversion is not mainstream, but the media would have you believe that it is.

I would like to see the perverts sent to Mexico along with the illeagle aliens and Obama

The "perverts" these comments are referring to? Homosexuals. I am appalled. The intolerance that I have begun to see in the republican party is what concerns me most. I have always believed myself to be very open minded, loving and to have very strong Christian beliefs. I was taught we are not to judge. That is God's job, not mine. I was taught to be loving. To "love one another" as it were. I have seen the republican party, which I was always told was closely aligned with the religious right become more intolerant, more judgmental and more prejudiced in its beliefs.

It is for this reason I no longer consider myself a Republican. Does this mean I won't vote for another Republican? Not at all. I just find myself wanting to be associated with this group of people less and less. Now, don't get me wrong, I think they have as much a right to speak their beliefs as anyone else, I just do not wish to be associated with it anymore.

I truly do not know "what" I am anymore. Am I a democrat? Oh I am just not ready to go there. Trust me, just saying I am no longer a Republican is a huge deal. It has been part of my identity since, well, I was a baby. Oh, and the proof? Here is my baby bracelet I was referring to earlier (sorry, it definitely needs some polishing!):

Babies Don't Keep

2010-07-29T19:48:00.003-04:00

The cross stitch on the left was made by my Mom and given to me when my first child, Abigail, was born. When Molly came around, Mom made her a beautiful blanket with the alphabet cross stitched around the edges, but I still transferred this particular print to her nursery as well. Then came my 3rd, my baby boy, Zach. I also hung this print in his room.

It reads:

Babies Don't Keep

Cleaning and scrubbing

can wait 'til tomorrow.

For babies grow up,

we've learned to our

sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,

Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby

and

babies don't keep.

It seems benign enough. We all read it and think, "oh that is so true" and then we go back to sweeping, washing dishes, mopping, folding clothes and shooing our kids to "go play" while we clean. At least I know I am incredibly guilty of doing just that. I suppose my Mom knew this when she took her time and made me that particular cross stitch.

I always feel things have to be "just so" before I will sit down and relax. I think if I can just put a load in the wash, fold that other load "really quickly" then I will sit down and rock my babies. Oh, but wait, let me just dust that end table it won't take long, and take the trash out THEN I can sit...oh but, I can throw a load of dishes in the dishwasher while I am doing that...and then...

Well, you get the picture. Before you know it, they are growing up and no longer wish to be rocked. You have no idea how many times I have recited the above poem as I was vacuuming, dusting or folding laundry. Last night, however, an amazing thing happened.

Last night, I fed and bathed the kids then I cuddled with them in the girl's room as we watched "Annie" (Zach's current most favorite movie) for a little while. We all sang, "Tomorrow" and laughed at how we would never make it as a singing group. I held on to Molly, Zach and Abby and just enjoyed my babies. Then I scooped Zach up and rocked him in the silence of his room. I sang, "You are My Sunshine" (by request, another fave), "Mockingbird", "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "Rock a Bye Baby" and "Jesus Loves Me" as he dozed in my arms. I put him gently in his crib and went to check on Molly. I found she had crawled in her bed and fallen asleep without any directions from me.

It made me think, perhaps these crazy evenings I have with my 3 are really just cries for cuddles. I had a wonderful evening with my babies and was more relaxed and content than I had been in some time. My heart was full. Apparently so was theirs. So I suppose perhaps Mom was right along, those babies just don't keep, but that dust? Yeah, it will still be there tomorrow.

Thoughts

2010-07-27T20:53:00.000-04:00

Life has been pretty busy lately. But, well, my life is always pretty busy. However, I am surprised to find I don't have much to blog about. Or, nothing I really feel like taking the time to blog.

My life is getting ready to change quite significantly in, oh, a week and a day. I am ecstatic. Blissfully happy. You would think I would have tons to tell you guys, but? For the first time in my life I am feeling quite protective of things. I wonder why that is? I guess sometimes circumstances dictate a bit of decorum? Maybe? Maybe not...perhaps I just haven't felt like sharing, I want to keep it all to myself! Lol...

Oh but you all know me...I will soon be singing to the masses! Sharing and perhaps over sharing as the case may be!

I find I do miss writing...so I will probably go back to my normal routine of looking for things that strike me during the day and sharing them with you at night!

I miss you guys and look forward to catching up on your blogs too! :)

A Haircut Incident

2010-07-23T19:13:00.001-04:00

So apparently Molly and Bethanie are pretty slick. Unbeknown to Julio and I they managed to secure a pair of scissors and cut their hair. Now we are not sure if they cut each others or their own. We just know that cut their hair. I know, I know, all little girls do it. I know, I know, it shouldn't be a very big deal, overall. In the grand scheme of things I guess it really isn't, however, as you probably know if you have read my blog at all, hair is kind of a touchy subject around here. I think it is fortunate for us that Abby was not home during this incident as I have worked very hard to make sure she understands hair just doesn't matter.

Here is Molly before:

and here is Molly after:

Yes, there is a common theme of food on her face! What can you do, she is only 3!

Basically she scalped her bangs...she has a tiny bit on her left side, but that is all that was left. I suppose, looking back, it could have been much, much worse.

I don't have any after pictures to show you of Bethanie, but she really got the better end of the deal, if that's possible. She cut a bit of hers in the back, luckily she did not cut the front. We have a hard enough time getting that to grow as it is.

I suppose this is just the first of many fun times ahead for our family!

What a Weekend!

2010-07-18T15:34:00.000-04:00

Want to see how our first weekend blended together went? All 8 of us? Then check us out over here:

http://sosfamilysos.blogspot.com/

This is where we will post a lot more pictures and details of our time together. For those of you that MIGHT be interested!

American Exceptionalism

2010-07-14T21:54:00.000-04:00

I heard the phrase "American Exceptionalism" for the first time today. Apparently its roots are traced back to Alexis de Tocqueville who, when America was about 50 years old, claimed the United States held a special place in the world due to it being the first with a representative democracy. The theory of American Exceptionalism states that the US is very special and should be regarded as such due to its political and religious institutions, historical evolution and the fact it was built by immigrants.

Whoa. That last bit is pretty loaded. I could take this post in so many different directions simply based on how Tocqueville defined American Exceptionalism. Our country was built by immigrants. Just using the word "immigrant" conjures up all kinds of things these days, doesn't it? Then we have "religious" institutions in the same sentence as "political" institutions. That is a can of worms right there, isn't it?

After doing a lot of research I decided what I think is my point of this post. I think the way things are in our country right now, politically, are very sad. Perhaps it has always been this way and I am just really paying more attention, perhaps it is because I am dating a very intelligent, passionate man whom always gets fired up about politics, perhaps it is a combination of things, but our country seems very divisive right now. We seem to want to believe, at whatever cost, that our views are correct and everyone else is wrong. No matter what. There seems to be more inflamed tempers, more anger, more division.

I think what is the most sad to me, is that this should be a good thing. More and more people are getting their voices heard, are expressing their opinions, are paying attention to our political leaders and their views. However, we are missing the bigger picture here. We all want the United States, OUR country, to be admired and respected. We all want to live the "American Dream". Is it too much to think perhaps we could once again draw on our common desires and focus on those as opposed to focusing on why the other guy is wrong?

I happen to think America is exceptional. I think there are amazing opportunities for those willing to work hard. Democracy is amazing, let's remember that is why we love this country. Let's learn to respect each other's view points and instead of instantly trying to paint the other guy as a crazed idiot, let's see what he's saying that might just make sense. Let's see how his ideas might actually be very similar to ours and how we can make them work together. If we spent as much time trying to join forces as we do trying to paint the other guy as a blithering idiot perhaps we would remember why this country is so great in the first place.

My Abby

2010-07-13T20:04:00.000-04:00

Abby will be 8 in September, is it too early for pre-teen angst? When her Dad brought her home this afternoon she was sulking. She came and sat beside me and just put her head on my shoulder and sighed. When I asked what was wrong, guess what she said? You got it, "nothing". Huh. My Mom radar went up, but I was trying to have a bit of a serious discussion with her Dad so I shrugged it off.

We had to all load up and go run a quick errand. I would have thought that child was doing any and every thing she could to get me angry. When we got back home she was still just pushing her brother and sister's buttons. When I finally had about all I could take I went to talk to her and found her sitting on her bed, earphones on and writing in her journal. I could not believe the sight before me. She looked about 13. I just stood back and watched her, then I walked away.

A little while later, after dinner, I asked her to go get something out of my car for me, as I was already in my night gown (and I would NEVER go outside like that! *wink, wink*). She came in the kitchen, put down her journal, where I could see it, and proceeded to go out to the car. Now before you get all indignant about me looking in her journal, know this, after she came back in and I asked her if she wanted to talk about anything she brought me her journal and showed it to me. This is what it read (her spelling as well):

"It's summer now. It's almost over, about to go in 2nd grade.

Still missing him sooooooooooooooo much.

If he was here write now I wode say

I love you and ask if I cud spin the night.

Grandad I LOVE YOU.

So so so so so so sad. :'("

My heart is breaking. Abby and Granddad had a very special relationship. I know she misses him. I didn't realize she still missed him so much, but I guess she's just like I am, just like my brother is, just like we all are, there are moments. Moments it is so painful, so raw, it is as if it just happened. I think part of this was brought on by her journal. It is the only journal she has and it is one I bought her when my Dad was nearing the end of his battle with brain cancer. In it we have documented some of her favorite memories of their time together.

I am glad that Abby seems to understand how writing can help. I am so proud that she sought out her journal and captured those feelings. After all it is what I do, it is what I am doing now, with this post. I want to break down and sob, but I am afraid how long the tears will flow if I do. So I will write. I will hug my sweet Abby and let her know we all have days like this. I will tell her how very proud Granddad would be of her. How his heart would swell with admiration, love and pride at all the amazing things she has accomplished and at the incredible young lady she is becoming. I will hold her a little longer so, hopefully, she will know I am always here for her, always in her corner and always understanding.

Granddads hold our tiny hands for just a little while,

but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

Our Toy Story 3 Adventure

2010-07-12T20:02:00.000-04:00

The fourth of July weekend the kids and I had nothing planned on Saturday so I decided to brave 3 kids and the movies. Molly and Zach had never been to the movies before so I decided Toy Story 3 would be a good first experience that would, hopefully, keep their attention. Now Molly is a little over 3 1/2 so I didn't anticipate any issues out of her but I wasn't too sure about Zach, who just turned 2.

I got online and checked ticket prices for my favorite theater and it was going to cost me over $35 for me and the 3 kids! So I checked another theater in the area (though not nearly as nice, still OK) and it was only $12 total for the matinée! Wow, is that a difference or what? So I ordered our tickets online, assuming it would sell out, and off we went.

I did not tell the kids where we were going (I love surprises, though I am hard to surprise I find it quite easy to pull one over on others!). We arrived at the theater and the kids were so excited! I was right, it had sold out, but I was safe since I already had my tickets. I emptied out my life savings and bought the popcorn laced with gold and the sodas in the platinum cups (What? They aren't gold and platinum? I really just paid waaaaaay too much for them? C'mon, seriously?). They were very happy and of course the popcorn was almost gone before the movie even began.

The kids did great. Zach was a little fidgety for a bit, but actually slept in my arms the last 30 minutes of the movie. Molly leaned over at one point and whispered, "that's a really, really, really BIG t.v.!" But the rest of the time she cuddled up with Abby and watched the movie.

I really enjoyed this flick. It has been a long time since I've been to the movies. I really just love the escape. The couple of hours of sitting in a (fairly) quiet, dark movie theater just focusing on the movie. I am hoping perhaps Julio and I can find where they are hiding babysitters these days and venture out to an adult movie at some point soon. It's been far too long. I also look forward to taking the kids to movies more often, especially since I've discovered this fairly (with out the popcorn and drinks) reasonably priced theater.

Oh, and I only shed a few tears, actually. I had heard it was a bit of a tear jerker at the end, not too bad...I didn't think. All in all a really cute flick, but hey, it's Pixar, what do you expect?!

Alopecia, Beauty Queens and Courage

2010-07-08T19:59:00.000-04:00

As most of you know, my almost 8 year old daughter, Abby, has alopecia areata. What this means, in layman's terms, is that Abby's body attacks her hair follicles as if they are disease. Therefore, Abby doesn't grow hair very well. So far it has been cyclical for Abby. She lost it the first time when she was 4, it grew back, then fell out again. Right now, for the first time in about 2 years, she is growing quite a bit of hair, some eyelashes and some eyebrows.

Funny thing about the hair growth this time? Abby actually asked me to shave her head last week. I struggled with it and put it off, without her knowing I was putting it off, and she has since decided to see what happens for now. The really cruel thing about Alopecia? It is unpredictable. Abby could grow it all back, and it might never fall out again, or it might and it might never grow back, or it might. It is uncontrollable and unpredictable and for a Type A personality like myself? Well let's just say it has taught me some very valuable lessons.

One of the neatest things happened just the other night at Abby's swim meet. She was showing some of her friends this picture:

Now keep in mind, most of the folks on swim team are used to seeing Abby like this:

So, they were pretty surprised and thought it was really cool that she had wigs! They were so impressed that more than one little girl went up to their Mom and said they wanted to shave their head and wear wigs like Abby. Now. How. Cool. Is. That? Abby has those girls wanting to be like her instead of the Abby wanting to be like them. Wow. What a lesson. That's the thing about Abby, she has taught so many folks, (and this is what I am told by many people) young and old, so many life lessons. There is more courage in that little girl's pinky finger than in my whole body. She teaches me something every day. I am so proud of her.

I am also very proud of Kayla Martell (you can find her blog here) the new Miss Delaware. Kayla also has alopecia...and she's a beauty queen. Talk about inspiring. She has said that she thinks she can accomplish more as Miss Delaware without her wig than with it. On Kayla's blog she says,

"My dream is to change someones life one day. I share my story to bring awareness to Alopecia Areata, which I have had since 1999. And I am working to become Miss America one day, because I know in my heart that every girl is a beauty queen, whether she has hair, or not!"

Well, Kayla, you have done that. You have touched so many with your drive and your determination. You have inspired and encouraged my little girl. You reminded her and have shown her, nothing is impossible, even becoming a beauty queen. You are an inspiration and a role model to so many. Keep up that excellent work. You make us proud.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Have You Seen this Show?

2010-07-03T11:36:00.000-04:00

Ok...kind of a bit of a silly post today...but have you seen "Hot in Cleveland"?? It is a new series on, of all channels, TV Land and is produced by Sean Hayes ("Jack" from "Will and Grace"). I would not have known about it had I not happened to catch a commercial on the radio the day it premiered.

This show is a bit of a throw back to sitcoms from the 80's. It is filmed in front of a "live studio audience", how often do you hear that at the beginning of a show these days? Of course (also a bit of a throw back to 80's sitcoms) the four main characters are played by: Betty White (OMG...I just love her!), Valerie Bertinelli, Wendie Malick and Jane Leeves.

They play three women from Los Angeles who land in Cleveland due to plane trouble on their way to Paris. They are surprised to discover how inexpensive and normal things are in Cleveland. They end up renting a house and discover it comes with a caretaker played by Betty White. What ensues is a plethora of funny one liners, mostly delivered by White. It's comedy can be a bit predictable at times, but nonetheless funny.

I have set my DVR to record each week, after all, it is Betty White!

2010 National Champions!

2010-06-30T19:24:00.001-04:00

One thing you learn as a long suffering Gamecock fan, never get your hopes up. Things may look great, but, usually we will find a way to mess it all up. Well not this time. The University of South Carolina, only a strike away from elimination several times during the playoffs, managed to do what has only been done twice in the history of the school, they won a National Championship (ok, so the other 2 championships are in Women's Track and Equestrian...I'll wait why you regain your composure....).

I really could not believe it. It is still hard for me to believe. It really happened. They really did it. To top it all off it was the last series played at the famed Rosenblatt Stadium. Next year they will move the series to a new, fancier, state of the art facility. The team toured that facility today. I can imagine what Coach Ray Tanner must have told the team: "Fellas, there is only one way to top winning the last series at the old stadium and that will be to come back next year and win the first series at the new stadium".

For now, however, I will not think about next year. Those of you that are Gamecock fans will recognize the irony in that statement. The battle cry of all Gamecocks has always been, "wait until next year"...this time, fans, we don't have to wait. Some will cry foul and say, "it's only baseball, no one cares about baseball". I beg to differ. To those fellas and those fans it is the only thing. It is BASEBALL! It is a major sport and it is still a national championship. South Carolina fought through the losers bracket, came back many times to prove they had the depth, the heart and the skill to never give up. Another trait of a true Gamecock...we never give up.

I can only hope that the football team will somehow find inspiration in what the baseball team did. I can only hope they will play with the heart and soul and desire that our baseball team did. I can only hope they will make us as proud as these fine baseball players have.

I heard on Friday the city of Columbia is having an old fashioned ticker tape parade down Main Street for our champions. They packed the Colonial Center today to welcome home the team and watch the game. I heard "2001" and the fight song several times today and it had the same affect it always does...chills.

I am a true Gamecock through and through.

Way to go Gamecocks and way to go Gamecock fans for never giving up.

Well, I Met the Family...

2010-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

This weekend, as most of you know, I made the trek to Georgia to meet Julio's family: his oldest two kids, his parents and his brother. And, as most of you know, I was quite nervous about this meeting. But, as I mentioned in my comment to his post about this weekend, he had built his family up so much that even Mother Teresa would have been nervous!

I got up early Saturday and spent two hours (yes, 2 flipping hours!) getting ready, mind you I took my sweet time. I showered, blew my hair out with the dryer, curled it just a bit, took my time applying my makeup, etc. I just wanted to feel as put together as I possibly could, even though I KNEW the humidity would most likely flatten my hair in a matter of minutes, which it did.

Julio arrived with the kids to pick me up, I scooped up my presents and headed to the lobby where they were awaiting me. The kids quickly got out of the van and came over for hugs and introductions. I was instantly taken, and could not believe they were as tall as I am (or maybe a smidge taller!). I had ordered a couple of books for each one of them, which really seemed to be a hit. Julio tried to make us load up one time during this gift exchange claiming we were "blocking" the drive thru area of the hotel, pfft! I told the kids we were fine for a couple of minutes as we said our hello's...yes, that is pretty typical of me.

We went to the store as I wanted to pick up some flowers to take for his Mom. After all, she was inviting me into her home and I wanted to show her my appreciation. Becky, BJ and Bethanie helped me pick out some beautiful pink/peach combination roses. We picked up a few other things for the feast and were on our way.

It was so much fun in the van. Julio and I could not even get a word in edgewise to each other as the kids were talking to me a mile a minute. It could not have been better. I loved and thoroughly enjoyed every minute. We arrived to his house and he made his introductions first to his Mom, then his brother, then his Dad. Then we went to work. There was so much food! We had shish ka bobs, wings, chicken legs, ribs, brats, grilled pineapple (YUM!), potato salad, baked beans, grilled corn on the cob, cucumbers and tomatoes, deviled eggs, and a delicious pudding. It was more food than you could imagine. All of it was delicious! We had a great time around the table, laughing, telling stories and I jumped right in with the joking around. I also learned I am going to HAVE to learn Spanish. This is also something Julio's Mom told me several times. It's not that they intentionally would begin speaking in Spanish but there are some things they just say in Spanish, which is fine. I will adapt. It was interesting that quite often I could pick up on some of what was being said based on context and my three years of French. There are some similarities. But not nearly enough.

*A fun little side note: Julio's Mom said her very last thought prior to going to sleep Friday night, was "Oh poor Mandy". I guess she knew how nervous I was! To this Cesar (Julio's brother) added that his last thought was, "Oh goody...muah hahaha, tomorrow will be FUN!"

We spent the rest of the evening just watching movies and being together. It seemed the day was over before it began, it went by so quickly.

On Sunday Julio's parents went to church and he, the kids and I just enjoyed a quiet Sunday morning. Julio and I sat at the kitchen table with coffee and just talked about everything and nothing. I found myself just truly relishing the time. I could have sat there with him all day. Time flew by. Before I knew it it was time for me to leave. I could feel the tears in my eyes and as I hard as I tried I just could not fight them. I hid them from the kids and as soon as I could get them to stop flowing said my goodbyes and got on the road...where the tears flowed for about the first hour or so of my long drive home.

It was an amazing weekend. But now, I am left wondering, who hit the fast forward button on the weekend and could you please fast forward the next two and a half weeks so I can hurry and have him and the kids with me again? I cannot wait for his family to become my family and mine to become his. THAT is an incredible feeling (yes, one that was totally worth the anxiety, anticipation, nerves and fright that I had felt prior to the weekend).

Meeting the Parents

2010-06-23T19:28:00.001-04:00

I have a pretty exciting weekend coming up. I am taking the day off from work on Friday leaving bright and early, first a stop in Columbia to have breakfast with my Dad at the Cracker Barrel he always took me to as a kid, then on to Georgia to see Julio and meet: his parents, his brother and his two older kids.

This is a big deal to me. Am I nervous? You betcha. I did not have the best relationship with my former father in law, something that always bothered me, we were just two very different people. I love him and I care about him, we just did not have a bond. On the other hand my ex-husband's sister could not have been more like a sister to me.

So this is huge. Julio has also built his parents and brother up a bit therefore I am nervous. Will they like me? Will I say the right thing, or stick my foot in my mouth as I am so good at doing? I suppose if it were not so important to me then I would not be so concerned. There are also some extenuating circumstances that add to the stress a bit, but we do not need to discuss those at this time. I have talked to his two older kids on the phone and via Skype and I am super excited about meeting them. They are very bright, well spoken kids and I am certain we will get along fabulously.

I am a people person, it's how I am able to make a living in commissioned sales, after all, but, meeting the parents and brother is just a wee bit intimidating to me. You know those episodes of the Bachelor and the Bachelorette when they go home to meet the parents and each family member takes one on one time to "grill" or question the proposed mate? Yeah, that is kind of how I envision things. How do I make sure I am "acceptable"? How do I make sure I make a good impression?...oh the stress...oh the worry...oh the excitement, too.

Yes, I am excited. I am excited to get the "big meeting" over with, but I am also excited to finally put faces and voices to names. I have bought a new outfit, had my nails done, am giving myself a pedicure tonight, and have the perfect jewelry and shoes picked out to complete the outfit. I suppose I am as ready as I will ever be...

I'll let you know on Monday how it went...maybe even with a few pictures...if they turn out ok and if it all goes well...and if I actually show up...yikes!

Daddy's Hands

2010-06-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

I am very blessed in that I had two wonderful, yet very different, Dads. They both helped raise me, had a lot to do with who I am today, they both loved me and nurtured me. I have written a lot about my step-dad, Eric, but not a lot about my biological Dad. Today, as I am missing my step-dad so very much, it struck me that my bio Dad is still here and I should honor him today.

Dad and I had a difficult time for quite awhile. He married a wonderful woman who was raising three girls on her own, as their Dad didn't really have a lot to do with them. My Dad, being the type of man he is, saw where Eric was doing such a great job with us, he felt my step-mom's girls needed him a bit more than we did. In doing this Dad missed a lot. He acknowledges this fact. Our relationship has come a long way and I choose to focus on the good times and be grateful for the relationship I have with him today.

I can remember as a little girl, before my parents divorced, sitting in Dad's lap watching "Dukes of Hazard", "Hee Haw", or "CHiPS" while eating peanut butter and jelly on saltines. He'd put the peanut butter and jelly in a bowl, mix it up, then we'd spread it on the crackers. This is just a really strong memory I have. I remember him tickling me, watching him as he worked on stain glass in his work shop, and comforting me. If I had a nightmare Dad would come in my room, read a bit of the Bible to me and I would calm down.

There was a popular song in the 80's and it, to this day, always makes me think of my Dad:

I remember Daddy´s hands, folded silently in prayer.
And reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.

I remember Daddy´s hands, how they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back, for something done right.
There are things that I´ve forgotten, that I loved about the man,
But I´ll always remember the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, working 'til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over, I´d live my life again.
And never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love...
In Daddy´s hands.

Nowadays Dad lives about an hour and a half from me. He comes down when he can. He loves his grandkids. He calls them every Sunday night around 5, calls me every Wednesday and is usually here for a visit every 6 weeks or so. But, if I need anything he is always a phone all away. Dad is great with his hands, he has fixed my tile, put in an over the stove microwave for me, upgraded my kitchen faucets, bought and put together a swing set for my kids, the list goes on and on. Dad loves doing this kind of thing. He has always been good with his hands and I am very grateful!

So on this very special day, it is important to remember there are lots of different kinds of Dad's out there. I am grateful and so very thankful that I had two that loved me so very much. I learned a lot from both of them. I am hoping that my kids are as fortunate as I was. As I learned from my step-family, there's a lot more than biology that makes a family. The most important thing is love.

Not Me Monday

2010-06-14T08:00:00.002-04:00

This weekend we celebrated Zach's 2nd birthday. We really had a great weekend. On Friday night we went over to my Mom's and had a small birthday party. We ordered pizza, had cake and enjoyed each other's company. I had planned on it being a short night. I knew the kids would be tired from hanging at the sprinkler park with their Dad all day, also celebrating Zach's birthday. Well about the time I was planning on packing it in to head home, the neighbors came over with their little boy and we really had a party.

I did not drink wine for the first time in over 3 weeks, oh no, NOT ME! Not by the pool with friends and family! I did not come home and have the start of a headache, oh no, NOT ME! The kids did NOT finally get in bed a little after 9, that is just too late after a long day! Who would do that? Certainly not me.
On Sunday we, again, hung out at Mom's pool. I did not, again, do this mainly to wear out the kids and help them get out some of that energy, oh no, NOT ME! It was totally to have some fun as a family. I did NOT find myself oddly relaxed by all the craziness of the pool and kids running around. Nope, NOT ME! I can't help it, water just relaxes me, even if I am watching 3 kids at the same time and playing "ring around the rosie" in the pool for the eleventy thousand millionth time.

Sunday afternoon I absolutely, positively did NOT find myself watching "Keeping Up with the Kardashians". Oh NO! NOT ME! I would not spend endless hours watching this silly, mindless drivel. I have resisted up until...today. Dang it! What is it about watching these reality shows that sometimes just sucks you in?? Sigh, good thing I do not succumb to such mind wasting activities, especially when I have a really good book I am dying to read!

So what did you NOT DO this weekend? Anything exciting?

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to < target="_blank" href="http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Zach's Second Birthday

2010-06-12T16:21:00.000-04:00

My youngest, Zach, turned two yesterday. As I like to do, I wanted to write a little tribute to him in honor of this most special occasion.

Zach was a bit of a "surprise", but a wonderful, joyful one. He entered the world when Molly was 17 months old and Abby was 5. My first and only son. I wasn't really sure how different it was going to be to have a son, only that I knew it would be different. And boy, is it.

Zach is also my baby. It is so true what they say, too, little boys love to cuddle. Zach is affectionate and loving. If we are home together he wants to be in my lap cuddling and rocking. He will sit in my lap while I am on my computer and in my lap while I watch television. He will tell me, repeatedly, "I love you". Little boys are just so very sweet.

He loves his sisters. He looks for Abby all day when she is in school and will follow her to the ends of the earth when she's home. He and Molly have a very special bond...they can be love/hate, but they remind me of my brother and me. When the going gets tough and one of them starts crying you better watch out because the other will come out of nowhere to comfort, console and seek retribution for the other. I cannot wait, I think, to see how this will play out when they are in school!

Zach is just overall an even tempered, though he does have his moments, calm, loving little boy. He will make his opinions known, but is really quite easy to console. The other night the three of them were eating dinner. Molly and Abby finished and went to play. Zach discovered I was in the living room finishing my dinner, so he brought his plate, cup and chair in and sat with me. When I was finished, he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, done? Mommy, done?" When I said, "yes", he picked up my bowl and carried it to the kitchen. Then he crawled up on the couch and cuddled up next to me. My little man. My southern gentleman. I am so proud to be his Mommy.

Happy Birthday, son!

Questions for Me?

2010-06-10T08:00:00.003-04:00

So Jay over at Cynical Bastard posted these questions and I decided to take him up on it and answer them myself. Hey, it may be a bit of a cop out, but it's my 5th blog this week, ya'll, cut a girl some slack!

1. You’re building your dream house. What’s the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course)

A 2 person jacuzzi bathtub...duh!

2. What is your dream car?

Hmm...well the practical side of me that is about to have a family of 6 says, Tahoe or Durango etc...but it'd have to be a brand new one with all the bells and whistles.
Just for me? Well then I guess I would like to have some fancy sports car, just not sure which one as I haven't thought just for me in so long I wouldn't know what to say!

3. What is your favorite website that isn’t a blog.

I don't think I really have one. I am either on Twitter or Blogs for the most of my online time...or am yahoo messaging with Julio!

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want?
either...just get me something newer than this old Blackberry (ok so it isn't that old, but it is a rebuilt one to replace the one I soaked in the bathtub and it's a piece of junk!)

5. When you’re feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up?
SHOP! Hello? Have you met me?

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate.

Gamecock football and that includes Steve Spurrier. Of course, if he doesn't hurry up and do SOMETHING with my Gamecocks then I am back to hating him too!

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Financially comfortable and retired, early!

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance?
Yes, I probably would. Julio and I joke that our family would make a great reality show...Brady Bunch style! lol

9. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up. (Grade school, Middle School, Jr. High or High School only.)
Gregg Pendarvis. He was my senior class advisor, my basketball coach and was only a few years older than we were! Did I mention he was pretty hot? Yeah, that didn't have anything to do with why he was my favorite!

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do?

Hack into my mortgage company's computer system and fix it so I own my house outright! Woot! Then I'd sell it and build that dream house referenced in question 1!

Ok. So there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about me. But then, if you didn't really want to know why did you read all the way through?? :) Now you! Yes, you! Go, answer these questions, I want to see what you have to say!

The Art of Negotiation

2010-06-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

I have a pretty good routine with the kids. I get off work, Molly, Zach and I head to the pool to pick Abby up from swim team, we come home, they get in the bath while I start dinner, I bathe them, they get dressed, eat dinner, I put Zach down, then the girls and I read 2 books, we say our prayers, I tuck them in and lie on their floor while Molly falls asleep. Quite often Abby will fall asleep too, but lately, with school out I've let her get back up once Molly is asleep (usually only takes a few minutes) and watch a bit of television until 8 or 8:30.

On Thursday night at 8:30 I told Abby it was time to turn the TV off and go to bed. She calmly came to me and asked if she could stay up a bit longer. I told if she could give me a really good reason why she thought she should be allowed to stay up I would consider it, but I really thought she needed to go to bed.

She tried the typical, "because I want to" or "because I just want to watch one more show". Well, I wouldn't let her get away with those answers. I told her to really think about it and give me a really good reason why she should get to stay up. She thought about it for a few minutes then said, "Mom, I think I should get to stay up late because it is the only time I get to be by myself. All day long I have to play with Molly and Zach and share and do what they want to do. This is my quiet time and I think I deserve it."

I said, "Sold, that was a very good argument, Abby. It was well thought out and well presented." I told her I was very impressed and let her stay up until 9:30. At 9:30, without me saying a word, she turned the TV off, came and kissed me and went to bed. I explained to her how it is very important to learn how to "negotiate", how to be able to express yourself without arguing, but in an intelligent, thought provoking manner.

I really think this was a great lesson for Abby, in a unique setting. I plan to use this tactic with her more and more as I do feel it is a very important skill to master. I only hope it does not come back to haunt me!

Is it Ego or Something More?

2010-06-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile so clearly the other day was the day for another, shall we say, heated debate between Julio and I (let me just say, we both love these tete a tetes).

It all started innocently enough, as it usually does. We have been discussing Nikki Haley, a republican candidate for Governor in SC. In the past two weeks she has been accused of sleeping with two different men while she was married. She has emphatically denied these reports, however, has not filed any slander lawsuits nor spent much time discussing them. Mind you the primary election is upon us. I say it is kind of convenient for this to come out now. Her latest accuser actually works (or worked, as he was fired the day this came out) for our Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer who is also running in the SC primary for Governor against Haley.

SC ranks 50th in terms of women in public office. Only 8.8% of the legislature is female. Therefore I said I felt Haley had worked too long and too hard to get where she was to throw it all away on a fling, a one night stand. This wasn't what sparked the biggest part of our debate however.

I said that if these men that are in public office and having affairs could just keep their pants zipped then we would not be having this conversation. I said, uh oh here it comes, that it all boils down to ego. That sex for men is all about their egos. Okay. So I should have said for most men, or for some men, or maybe for just this type of man. The type of man that likes the attention of being in public office, of being elected, of being "in charge".

I feel that it is a lot about ego for a politician. It is that ego that got him elected, enabled him to stand in front of a large crowd, bask in the masses chanting his name and cheering for him. It is also that ego that quite often makes him think he can cheat and get away with it. However, after talking with some folks, namely Julio and my Mom, I have changed my mind a bit.

I still think ego has a lot to do with it, however, I can see where other factors can play into it as well. Take for example this latest accusation against Nikki Haley. Larry Marchant claims at a convention in 2008 he and Haley had a sexual encounter. Now, in talking with my Mom she makes a very good point. These conventions are filled with people of the same intellect, having very passionate and intellectual debates. That can be quite stimulating. Add a little alcohol, which is always in large supply at any convention, and things quite often can, and do happen.

Now I am not saying Haley is guilty. I am still holding out hope that she is just too smart of a woman and too dedicated to her family to do such a thing. However, I can now see where maybe ego isn't quite as big a part. I still think it plays a large role, just maybe not as simplistic as I was making it.

Haley has said if she is elected Governor and proof is produced that she had an affair she will resign. I guess we will see what the voters of SC think today. Should be interesting.

Not Me Monday

2010-06-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

It was another fun filled weekend with me and my kids. I woke up Saturday morning to the following:

The girl is apparently on a roll with the "note" thing. I would not count this as a love note from Abby either. And do you think I followed and did what she requested? Oh no, NOT ME! That would just encourage more notes, right? It would have been nice if I could have received a thank you note after she received her "jelly sandwich" however...

I took the kids to my Mom's pool to hopefully ~~wear them out~~, have a fun filled couple of hours. I was not hoping that the pool would wear these 3 out so thoroughly that I could, perhaps, just maybe, get a nap. Oh no, NOT ME! We did have a really good time, however, and here are a few photos:

My kids are truly "water babies" they live in the pool in the Summertime. Abby and Molly have both taken to swimming like fish to water. Abby is in her second season on a swim team and just loves it. It is such amazing exercise! Molly was a little slow to get started this year, but is now loving her time in the pool. That picture above? That is Molly jumping in the deep end for about the hundredth time that day.

Zach on the other hand? Well, he is getting there, but is still a little unsure of the pool. Notice he is in a float, with floaties on his arms, and a kick board in his hands? I don't think he is quite sure yet about this whole "pool thing". I am sure he will find himself more comfortable as Summer wears on and the pool warms up a bit more!

Well, I hope you all had a great weekend, I know we did...and? I totally got that nap on Saturday...the pool did it's trick, they were worn out little things! :)

Married Life?

2010-06-06T14:27:00.003-04:00

Julio sent me this...not sure if he was trying to tell me something or not...huh. Either way it's pretty funny:

At least she figured out how to speak a language he understood!

Abby and Her First(?) Love Note

2010-06-01T20:24:00.001-04:00

I was pretty shocked, stunned, speechless when I found this note on my kitchen counter the other day:

Now I immediately, ~~shrieked~~ calmly asked Abby (my 7 year old) what this was...she replied all giddy and innocent like, "it's a love note for my boyfriend". Um, clearly we need to discuss the meaning of a "love note".

Well, okay, so I did not, immediately, recognize this as lyrics to a Katy Perry song, a song I do know, by the way. Then a little while later Abby was playing "Just Dance" on the Wii and there it was...this song and all the lyrics on the screen, karaoke style. Aha. Mystery solved.

Except...I still needed to explain a few things to Abby. Clearly. Like how this is no where near a "nice" thing or a "love note" to send your boyfriend. Also? Thank goodness I discovered it before she took it to school for her teacher to see!

This only makes me wonder, however, what have I NOT seen??

Abby is clearly laying the ground work at the boss in that relationship I do believe!

What a Way to Wake Up!

2010-05-26T19:48:00.000-04:00

As if she knew I blogged about her yesterday and wanted to prove a point, Molly began our day very early today. Like before 6 am early. I awoke to screams and fighting from the girls' room. I quickly ran across the house and into their room to discover the girls in the throes of a shouting match.

Seems, for whatever reason, Molly woke up and decided to pour a bottle of water all over Abby. Of course Abby was awakened from a deep sleep and quite upset about it. To get back at Molly, Abby took Molly's blanket and threw it in Zach's crib. Ok, so now we have Zach involved and awake. A perfect trifecta at shortly before 6am. Seriously? No, I must be dreaming, please God, let me be dreaming. Let me still be tucked cozy in my warm, comfy bed.

Nope. This was no dream. I did my best to sort it all out, dry Abby off and get them resting a bit before Abby needed to dress for school.

Fast forward an hour or so. Abby is successfully on her school bus and Molly is, I thought, quietly watching TV. Wrong again. I find Molly in her room, she had pulled Abby's mattress off her bed (this child is insanely strong, just a perfect accompaniment to her strong personality), and had a vast majority of Abby's pajamas strewn all about their room as she proceeded to try on each and every one of them. I could NOT believe my eyes. I seriously just wanted to turn around and pretend I had not seen any of it.

The best part? Molly actually thought she was being a "good girl" because she hadn't been under my feet as I was waking up and getting ready for work. She was actually quite proud of herself! I am telling ya'll this child is something else.

Now by the time we all got back home this evening we were all worn out. Molly spent the bath with her head in Abby's lap while Abby stroked her hair. Those two are as close as I have ever seen two sisters. Even after a cold, wet, morning wake up call. That is what it's all about. That is what makes it all worthwhile. That is a love like no other.

It is now 7:30 and the kids have all been asleep about 20 minutes. They are all fighting colds and struggled through a very long day. I have a feeling we will NOT be waking up quite as early in the morning. At least I sincerely hope we won't!

The Unsinkable Molly Vaughn

2010-05-25T19:06:00.001-04:00

We all know kids are little sponges. But, boy does my Molly take it to the extremes. This sweet 3 1/2 year old can hear something one time and sooner or later I will hear it repeated. It will not always be repeated back to me, it may be to her little brother or someone else. She is also head strong and opinionated. Very opinionated. Very head strong. Not really sure where she obtained these qualities, but I am sure there are many of you that could hazard a guess.

Molly's favorite thing to say these days is "I do it all my byself!" And she means it. She gets very upset if you try to help her do anything! She will also challenge you. She will take anything you say to her and turn it right back around on you. She will push you as far as she possibly can. And stubborn? Oh my. She once sat in time out for over 20 minutes because she wouldn't apologize to her Godmother for hitting her. When, finally, I let her out of time out to go to bed, she waited until I walked out of the room, out of earshot, to hug her Godmother and tell her how very sorry she was. Stubborn I tell you!

Molly is my middle child, 4 years younger than Abby and 17 months older than Zach. However, she acts much more like an oldest child. She is dominant, commanding, over bearing as well as caring, loving and tender. She has the amazing ability to switch from one of these traits to another in the blink of an eye. I sincerely hope the man she ends up with one day is up for the ride, because just being the Mom of this child is quite a wonderful roller coaster of emotions and challenges.

This past weekend Molly had Bethanie (age 6) convinced she could put her in time out. On more than one occasion Julio and I would have to intervene when we'd hear Bethanie crying. When we'd inquire as to what was wrong, she'd tell us Molly was putting her in time out. We had to explain to Bethanie that Molly could NOT put her in time out. I really don't know if Bethanie ever did fully believe us. THAT, my dears, is the power and assertiveness of this little 3 year old!

A year or so ago my Mom and I were in the library and she spotted a book entitled, "Raising your High Spirited Child". Mom suggested I would need that sooner or later. Well, it's time. But for all the battles with her, all the struggles, she just makes me laugh. She is bright, inquisitive and is so quick to figure things out (well, except how to "poopie" in the potty!). It's going to be quite a ride raising this child, but I look forward to (almost) every minute of it.

Not Me Monday-Weekend Edition

2010-05-24T18:52:00.003-04:00

It was a fun, family filled weekend. Julio and Bethanie came to visit us for another semi long weekend. We all just had a great time.
Friday night my Mom and brother, Will, came over. Will made a Chicken Curry that was one of the best I had ever had. I am already craving some more. We had a bit of wine and hung out on my porch for a pretty long evening that actually flew by. I did NOT drink more wine than I can remember in a very long time. Oh no! NOT ME! I would not do such a thing! I did not progressively talk louder with each glass of wine consumed, nope, again, NOT ME! I especially did NOT drunk tweet some of the evening, nope, I would never do anything like that.
Saturday morning I woke up with a little bit of a headache for some strange reason. Haven't quite figured that one out, yet. Huh. Anyway, I was treated like a queen with Julio getting up and making the kids breakfast and bringing me breakfast in bed. Wow. I cannot tell you the last time someone brought me breakfast in bed. (I am NOT getting spoiled by this, oh no!)
We took the kids to the pool on Saturday and Sunday and really had a great time.

One of the nicest things about taking the kids to the pool is that it slap wears them out. They came back and took a nice nap on Sunday afternoon. It allowed for a very relaxing afternoon for all of us.

Julio then cooked dinner as well (again, I will say I am not getting spoiled, oh no, NOT ME!). He made us a wonderful homemade spaghetti. It was loved by all. The kids were all asleep and peaceful pretty early on Saturday night. It was, again, a nice treat! Hey, when you have 4 kids under the same roof it can get crazy! All in all they get along quite well and allow for some really fun, family times.

Sunday was pretty much a repeat of Saturday, complete with pool, naps and early bedtimes. By Monday morning we were all pretty worn out from the weekend but really dreading our goodbyes. A few more weeks and we'll all be together again, so I will just focus on that for now.

Now...if only we could work on that Georgia Bulldog fan thing that he has going on...any advice on how to deal with that?? Help me out here, folks!

My Five Fantasy Husbands to Be

2010-05-18T15:00:00.001-04:00

Ok so Mrs. D posted her Second Husband to Be List and Kimmehkins posted Her Five Fantasy Husbands. Now it's my turn.

Let's see...first, there is my long time crush and favorite fantasy, Toby Keith. Say what you want about his politics, don't like his singing? Well, I really don't care. I am not talking about that. In fact, all he needs to do is sing Crash Here Tonight and nothing else would be needed. I am not interested in discussing politics with him! I have much, much more fun things in mind than that! He has the kind of physique I find very attractive. I don't want a skinny man. I like 'em tall, hunky and manly. There is just something commanding about Mr. Keith. He commands respect, oozes sexiness and can play guitar and serenade me...*swoon*...what more does a girl need? Oh, and Kimmehkins? Check out THOSE hands, girlie!!

Next on the list is Shemar Moore. He is one of the main reasons I watch Criminal Minds. Oh my. This guy is some kind of smoking hot. I don't even know what all to say...those dark, "need you NOW" eyes (oh yes, I have a thing for dark eyes, *wink, wink, Julio*). Now, let's just enjoy that sculpted chest area, *sighs*... On the show, which, yes, I know is just television, he plays a very kind hearted, passionate, deeply caring man. This does not hurt his sex appeal in my eyes. Any man that is not afraid to show how much he cares, lets his woman constantly know how he feels about her by the way he looks at her, can be funny, and intelligent definitely makes the uber sexiness list.

Now there is David Boreanaz. What was I saying about those dark, "meet me in the bedroom now" eyes? Just look deeply into those dark brown beauties...ahh....oh my, oh my, oh my! Not to mention, how I would love to join him in that bath! I also love how his character on "Bones" wears a "Cocky" belt buckle, it takes some kinda balls to wear a buckle like that! I find such self confidence to be a huge turn on. A man that is confident in who he is, that isn't afraid to stand up for himself and his beliefs is extremely sexy.

Then there's Balthazar Getty. I can't remember seeing him in anything prior to "Brothers and Sisters" but I have thoroughly enjoyed him in this show. Now Balthazar baby has something else I am noticing as a trend, a bit of facial hair. This is another new thing I am learning I have a bit of an attraction too *ahem, Julio, again*...there is just something about a goatee that exudes manliness. Now, it doesn't look great on everyone, but I do like it!

Last, but certainly not least (especially as these are in no particular order) there is Eric "McSteamy" Dane. Oh honey, Dr. Mark Sloan, baby, you can play doctor with me any 'ol time you want. Goodness, I get chills just thinking about it...but I digress...did you see the shower scene, er, scenes from Greys Anatomy? Hello?? I mean, DAMN...ok, I think you get my drift here. But, again, he is tall, has those amazing broad shoulders, smoldering eyes, with a stare that would make a girl want to...well, my Mom reads this blog, so I will just stop there, but you know what I mean! Yes, I am aware he has had his share of controversy, *ahem, sex tape anyone?* but, hell, if you were sleeping with this guy, wouldn't YOU want to have it recorded for "posterity"??

So there you have it. The only man I left off is Jeffrey Dean Morgan. But, Kimmehkins had him on her list, too, as well as David Boreanaz and I wanted to be a bit more original than copying TWO of hers, so I left him off, but, I do find him amazingly hot, sexy, dreamy, etc. This list is subject to change and will be updated from time to time. I will let you know as I find new additions to share!!

Not Me Monday and a Shout Out!

2010-05-17T21:24:00.000-04:00

On Friday I decided that I deserved a little treat and decided to head over to Old Navy to see what they might have that I needed. Well, I found the cutest dress, pictured over there <====. I did NOT drive to three different Old Navy stores as I was working to see what other colors the other stores had, oh no NOT ME! I did not buy it in two colors, come home, hop online and seriously consider one MORE! Oh no! I did stop myself. So far. It is saved in my "shopping bag" on the site, along with an adorable long, strapless dress that I cannot stop thinking about. But, alas, my brain kicked in and I have not bought it. Yet.

I also did NOT buy a new dress for Molly, a new outfit for Abby and new bathing suits for Julio and Bethanie. Oh no, NOT ME! I mean this was originally a special treat for me (now you see why I did NOT order the other dress I ~~am now obsessing over~~ have decided I really do not need).

My Dad came down on Saturday to help me replace a broken ceramic tile in my kitchen. I have needed to do this for ages and am so glad to have it all done. We did NOT break another tile as we were fixing that one, oh no, not US! Luckily I am a pretty good judge of shapes and noticed the one we broke looked a lot like the piece we had cut off the other tile and low and behold it was, whew, crisis averted. I now have a complete kitchen floor again. Yay!

Well, lastly I guess I am not very good at stirring things up, oh no NOT ME! I received more comments on my last blog post Nanny State than any other post I have written. I have figured out nothing makes you guys feel you need to offer a comment than taking a stand politically. I have to say I love it. Thank you all so very much for all your comments. I appreciate the ones that agree with me and also the ones that have the courage to make their opinions known when they differ with mine. That's what makes this so much fun. I am always interested in hearing what ya'll have to say, even with and especially when you differ with me, who knows, maybe you will change my mind about something!

As a follow up, my good (albeit apparently fake) friend, Jay, posted a terrific post, Suggestions for New Nanny State Rules. If you have not read this post, or are not reading Jay's blog you MUST! He is hilarious, always good for a terrific laugh and even pretty insightful at times. (I am not posting these links and great things about Jay because he has done it several times for me and I feel I owe him, OH NO NOT ME! But, I did figured I better give him a shout out so he will keep thinking of me from time to time!!) Now, YOU! Go! Read his blog! NOW!

Nanny State

2010-05-13T20:46:00.000-04:00

Now my county is joining the ranks of those considering smoking bans. I am so over it. First of all, I am not a smoker. I grew up with asthma and my kids have respiratory issues a couple of times a year, so I am not a fan of smoking. However, I do not believe this is something that should be legislated.

I am a big supporter of letting the free market decide these things. If a restaurant chooses to allow smoking and the place is, therefore, overly smoky, then perhaps non smoking patrons will decide to eat elsewhere. If business suffers the restaurant owner then has two choices, either close up shop or ban smoking in his establishment. The free market will have spoken. However, if a bar is dictated it must ban smoking then many times folks just decide to stay home and these establishments suffer through no fault of their own.

Proponents of smoking bans quite often site poor working conditions as a reason to ban smoking. Dianne Wilson, with the S.C. Chapter of African American Tobacco Control stated at a meeting in my county last night, “All workers have the right to work in a smoke-free environment. My heart goes out (to those who work in a smoking atmosphere); what they are breathing in, is toxic.”

Ok, two thoughts in regards to Wilson's statement: first of all, no one made these folks take jobs in a smoke filled environment. Harsh? Maybe. However it is true. Second: have you met most food and beverage employees? According to a study of full-time foodservice workers between 18 and 64 years old, 46.9 percent of males smoked cigarettes during the past month versus 42.7 percent of females. The study also found that cigarette use in the workplace declined by age. In the foodservice industry, 50.2 percent of full-time workers aged 18 to 25 smoked, compared with 48.6 percent of workers aged 26 to 34; 40.6 percent of employees aged 35 to 49; and 35.0 percent of workers aged 50 to 64. (Read more: http://www.nrn.com/breakingNews.aspx?id=373686#ixzz0nrJIQBrO)

So really that argument is pretty weak. Seriously? When did we become such a nanny state. This is just another one of those things that I strongly feel just does not need to be legislated. It is a slippery slope. The more laws we have governing our individual freedoms the more freedoms we lose, the more control over our daily lives we are giving up. This is not what this country is supposed to be about.

Smoking is bad for you, we all know that. There is debate about second hand smoke. It is probably something you want to limit your exposure to, understandable. However, do we really need to tell restaurant and bar owners how to run their businesses? Bottom line, smoking is not illegal and be careful how much power you give over to your government. Where will it end?

Mark, Mark, Mark...sigh

2010-05-11T20:20:00.000-04:00

Oh dear. Mark, Mark, Mark. Governor Sanford you did it again. How could you? Do you not remember what happened the last time you left town without letting the Lt. Governor know where you were? You know how upset Lt. Gov. Bauer gets when you fail to let him know of your whereabouts.

So now what do you think is happening? Well, the house is now debating a bill that will require, by law, when a Governor leaves the state that the Lt. Gov. be notified. Because, we all know, in South Carolina the Governor has so much power...well, no, actually SC has one of the weakest Governor positions in the country. But, ok, whatever. I guess I see the point, at least if the Governor is going to be out of contact, say, hiking the Appalachian Trail somewhere, than sure the Lt. Gov. needs to know he is, by default, "in charge"...kind of like when the teacher leaves the classroom and appoints someone "in charge". Does that make everyone feel better??

Sen. John Courson, R-Columbia, one of the co-sponsors of the bill, says, "In today's climate, with the international terrorism that this country is facing, the possibility of, where we're located, storms, tornadoes coming through, that it is important that the line of succession be notified." Sure, the line of succession should be notified, but mostly, only if the Governor is where he can't be reached, otherwise, he is still in charge. He can still make decision and he can still be in control.

This, to me, just sounds like much ado about nothing. Basically it is everyone that is so upset at Governor Sanford for not resigning trying to punish/embarrass him. It is like a bunch of school kids throwing a tantrum. Sure, I do get the point, what Governor Sanford did last year was reprehensible. Saying he was going to be one place, heading to another, shaking his security detail, all extremely irresponsible and did leave our state unmanned. However, I feel we would have handled it had something happened. I know Lt. Governor Bauer was waiting by the phone to take swift action should he have needed to.

This trip to Florida that has all these fellas in an uproar? Yes, it has been confirmed the Governor was in constant contact with his staff. They knew where he was at all times. So, ok, boys in Columbia, go pass your little bill and make this a law if that makes you feel better. It is a shame we have to make something so obvious a law, but that is the state of things these days, isn't it? I mean after all I am sure had this been a law last year then none of the would have happened, right?? Hmm....

Oh, and if you are curious, as I was, if the Governor was with his Argentinian Soulmate? I don't know...no one does apparently. But he was with a dark haired woman so it's up to you to decide if you think it was her...there are lots of reports from South Carolinians that happened to see him while he was in the Keys that say it looked like her, so I'm betting it probably was. But here's the thing, he is divorced now, you know!

Not Me! Monday

2010-05-10T18:08:00.000-04:00

This weekend the kids spent the day at the beach with their Dad, his girlfriend, their Aunt, their cousin and their great grandmother. I am sure they had a blast. I certainly think they looked the part prior to leaving the house:

I was not a little too excited about my first 24 hours to myself. Oh no not me! I also most certainly did not find myself thinking I needed to go check on the kids because they were so quiet...no I knew they had left. I knew they weren't home. I also did NOT find myself missing them just a couple of hours later. Oh NO! Not ME! I do have to say it was a nice little break. A much needed bit of "mental health time".

I did not spend the entire weekend catching up on DVR'd shows, oh no, NOT me! That would be an awfully lazy thing to do, now wouldn't it?

When my babies arrived home, sunburned and exhausted on Sunday I could not have been more happy. I did NOT cry as Abby read me her Mother's Day book, oh no NOT ME! It was an amazingly sweet book in which Abby told me she loves to shop with me, she thinks I'm as pretty as a daisy, that she loves when I tickle her, that my favorite thing to do is to text (um, hmm...might have to work on that one) and that she hopes I get a "break" for Mother's Day...cue the guilt. Wow. That one stung a little. But I received so many nice hugs and kisses from them when we got home that my day was complete.

Little Zach was pretty worn out from his great beach adventure. Just a few minutes after sitting down with him this is how he ended up:

Not a bad way to end the weekend. Not too bad at all.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

2010-05-08T10:24:00.001-04:00

I wrote a post about my Mom awhile back. Since then, however, my life has changed a great deal. Mom has been there for me as always. She truly is my rock. When Ed and I decided to divorce I think it was a bit hard on my Mom. I had not actually talked to her about my decision in great detail prior to the "moment of truth". Which is rare. Extremely rare.

Mom had been in Australia when I really made up my mind that my marriage was probably over. I did not want to hit her with it as soon as she got home and, well, I also knew once I discussed it with Mom it was pretty official. I had not discussed with anyone, other than my brother, and talking to Mom would make it all very real. I guess as time passed I just assumed she had figured it all out. When Ed came to me and asked for the divorce, unbeknown to him I had come to the same conclusion, Mom was sad. I think it hit her hard and I think she felt she had failed me.

I could not believe she could ever think this way. My Mom may have divorced my Dad, but had she not I would have never have had the amazing step dad that she gave me. The amazing family she married us into. The incredible example of what two people should be to each other. Yes, divorce is sad, difficult, painful, all adjectives Mom made sure, in no uncertain terms, to explain to me. However, life is very short and way too short to spend unhappy. I want my kids to see happy parents. Parents that are in a relationship that is mutually satisfying, healthy and that is a love story.

This is one of the greatest gifts my Mom ever gave me. She gave me the example of what a healthy relationship looks like. She gave me a step dad that challenged me, pushed me and encouraged me. She gave me, through that marriage, a sister that is amazing. A brother, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and a truly amazing family filled with love and acceptance. She gave Abby memories of a Granddad that are irreplaceable and rare.

Mom is the nucleus of our family. Will and I are truly blessed to have such a supportive, caring, intelligent Mom. She is loved and admired by her friends, family and anyone that meets her. Mom challenges, encourages and supports like a Mom should, but it goes beyond that. She accepts us and embraces our decisions in our lives. She always tells us her thoughts on things, but then lets us live our lives. There are no "I told you so's" if we make a mistake, there is only ever love and support.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

~Washington Irving

I love you, Mom...thanks for being an amazing example of what a Mom should be and for inspiring me to be just like you. I could wish for nothing more.

Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths

2010-05-04T12:48:00.000-04:00

So I have had this debate with more than one person. Is it safe to take a bath or a shower during a thunderstorm? I was always told "NO WAY"! But Julio and one of my friends both say they have never heard that this is unsafe.

Now, to be fair, I had a very overprotective Aunt that always had the Weather Channel on. Perhaps this is where I got my information. Or perhaps it was from my Grandmother. I am really not sure. I just know it is ingrained in me that baths, water, etc do NOT mix well with thunderstorms.

I have done a little research and it seems you can find evidence on either side. Julio says this was probably true before pipes were primarily made of plastic, which I can see. But I just know what a great conductor of electricity water can be.

So which is it? What do you think and why? Help me out, my most trusted advisors!!

Not Me! Monday

2010-05-03T18:17:00.000-04:00

Friday night I had to go to Walmart. Yes, I said Friday night and Walmart in the same sentence (yes I should probably have my head examined). Ed and his girlfriend took Abby to Frankie's Fun Park for the evening so in all honesty only have 2 in the store seemed a breeze. I, of course, did NOT buy Happy Meals from the in store McDonald's in order to ensure an easy visit. Oh no NOT ME! That would NOT be a Happy Meal toy on Molly's head, nope...I would NOT bribe my kids! Oh NO! Certainly NOT ME! (But, seriously, is she not the most adorable princess??)

On Saturday night the three kids all climbed into bed together. I did not take this picture and tweet about it being an early night, OH NO! That would just be asking for trouble! I actually got very lucky. Shortly after I took this picture I put Zach in his crib, settled the girls into their own beds with "Jaws" (I know, I would never let my kids watch "Jaws" and would certainly not let them call it their favorite movie!) and proceeded to take an uninterrupted bubble bath. It was amazing, I had my favorite guilty pleasure magazine (Oh get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking about US Magazine), my bubbles, the jacuzzi jets and peace. When I got out of the bath I found the girls were sound asleep in their beds! I was in shock! Now, keep in mind, I did not lock myself in the bathroom, I could hear them if they needed me! But, wow, who would have ever expected them to fall asleep! Certainly, NOT ME!

I have been working with Molly on potty training. She has just about got the hang of it. I realized how in depth we had been focusing on it when I saw Zach look in the potty and shout, "ALRIGHT" for no reason at all! Overreact much? Oh, no, NOT ME!!

So that's just a little bit of what I did NOT do this weekend! What about you? What did you NOT do??

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Forever Love?

2010-05-01T12:04:00.002-04:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking about love and life lately. Pretty understandable considering what this year has brought my way. Ed and I have been physically separated a little over 6 weeks now. While in some aspects that doesn't seem like a very long time in other ways it is a lifetime.

I specify "physically" separated because we have been emotionally separated for much, much longer. I am not going to put a time frame on it here as it is not important. He and I were together over 11 years and this Wednesday, Cinco de Mayo, would have been married 9 years. He turned 30 years old three days after we got married and I was 27. I thought I was older than everyone else. I thought I was never going to get married. Ha. I look back at my wedding pictures and just see this really young girl. I also see a young girl that was full of hopes and dreams for our future.

That is the hardest part of accepting our separation and impending divorce. It is the death of those hopes and dreams. It is something I have had to mourn and will likely mourn for some time to come. But there is no doubt to either of us this is the right decision. Ed has moved on to what appears to be (I have not yet met her) a wonderfully kind, loving woman and I have moved on to an amazing, intelligent, thoughtful, caring man. Does it seem as if we moved very quickly?

Well, if you think we have only been separated for 6 weeks, then yes, I suppose to some it may appear to be really fast. However, Ed and I grew apart and have really lived separate lives under the same roof for quite sometime. We both knew we were missing something and not giving the other what they needed. Therefore in a lot of ways the final "official separation" was like a breath of fresh air. Aside from a few bumps as we transition into our new relationship with each other we are getting along fabulously. I do not know how long it has been since we have gotten along so well.

It made me start to think, however, is the whole idea of one person that you are meant to spend your life with truly realistic? I mean, sure there are folks out there that stay married for life, some happily and some just because it is comfortable and they don't want to leave that comfort zone. There is a fear of letting go of all you have ever known.

But, is it truly realistic? I do not know. Here is what I DO know. I was happy when I married Ed. I thought it was forever. I thought given the fact that we were so dedicated to this for life that we could tackle anything. I believed that if we both were committed to making it work that is all it would take. I was wrong. Somewhere along the line we both changed. Or maybe one of us did and the other did not. Or maybe we realized the things we did not think were a very big deal really were. I know I am so happy for him now. He is truly happy, I can see it in his eyes and the way he is taking care of himself.

I have moved on as well and am happier than I can remember being in such a long time. Julio is very different from Ed. I am not sure they would have anything to even talk about, ok, well maybe college football. But it is strange to me at how different they are, yet they are both people I have cared for to the depths of my soul.

However, had I met Julio 11 years ago instead of Ed we probably would not have had very much to say to each other. We were both extraordinarily different people than we are today. We were not right for each other back then. However, NOW, a mere 11 years later we have more in common than seems possible. Sure, we have different feelings about politics and things, but they are differences that bring about more togetherness, not less. I feel more myself with him than I have ever felt. He knows me inside and out. He knows what makes me tick, what motivates me, what touches me.

Julio knows how to be supportive, when I need a swift kick to get moving at work, when I need advice or when I just need to laugh. It is not something we discuss it is something understood.

So I wonder, how can someone that would have been so wrong for me that I doubt I would have even been friends with 11 years ago seem to right for me now? Is it possible that there are different people meant for us at different stages of our lives? Or is it that twenty something is truly too young to marry? Folks in their twenties are still growing, maturing, figuring out who they are and what they truly want, yet society does make us feel that that is when we should be settling down and starting a family.

I do not know the answer and I am sure everyone is different. I thought I knew who I was back then and what I wanted. Of course, maybe I did. I just want and need very different things now. I do not regret for one minute the life I had with Ed. We have three beautiful, loving children. How could I ever regret that gift? How could I ever regret the time we spent together? The shared experiences, our first house, the births of our children, the football games, the struggles, all of it. It was a good life, however, it ran its course.

I am more thankful than you can imagine that I Ed and I are able to embark on this new journey without the animosity and hate you so often see during divorce. It is the best gift we can give our children and each other.

Weekly Wrap Up

2010-04-30T20:59:00.001-04:00

What a crazy, but really great month! I thought I'd do a quick weekly wrap up. It was a pretty busy one which is why I didn't get much blogging done. I really wanted to and hope to do work on a few ideas I have bouncing around in my head this weekend.

I had a great sales month, finishing out 110% goal which is just amazing. I believe I came in second in a sales contest, which is a little disappointing but I still am quite proud of myself. Unfortunately there are no prizes for second place. Oh well.

Molly is now sleeping in her bed all night. She hasn't come in my room in the middle of the night in almost a week. I am so proud of her I can't stand it. She has, a couple of times, crawled into bed with Abby, but Abby doesn't mind, so far, so I am ok with that, for now.

Molly is also really starting to use the potty. Again, so stinking proud of her! It will be so nice to only have one child in diapers! I am really sick of diapers, 39 straight months of diapers, 23 of those months spent with two in diapers...they are going to break me! Ugh, diapers, diapers, diapers, everywhere diapers...

Abby starts swim team next Wednesday. I love swim team, the confidence it gives kids is immeasurable, however the time spent shuttling back and forth is exhausting. She will practice M-F 4:00-5:30 until school is out and then M-F 9:00-11:30 after that. They have meets 2 nights a week on Tuesday and Thursday. I love the meets. Last year, Abby and I had so much fun, it was just the two of us as Ed stayed home with Molly and Zach. I have a feeling this year is going to be a bit more challenging. But we'll take it one day at a time and go from there.

After the great fun we had last weekend Julio and I have decided to let the girls all chat via Skype a few times each week. The girls love it! They are so cute to watch, they sit there and make funny faces and tell each they love and miss each other, but mainly it's a lot of giggling and face making.

Also, the television station I visited awhile back? Well, I had to go back today. I just dread going there since the silly first aid cabinets are in the bathrooms. Luckily there were no embarrassing moments today. Whew.

So, like I said, a pretty busy week. I am very ready for the weekend and hopefully a nap or two!

What a Weekend!

2010-04-26T20:09:00.000-04:00

We had a great weekend. Julio arrived (after a bit of car trouble) on Friday about midday and it was non stop fun from then out. We took the kids to Magnolia Plantation with my Mom and brother and rode the train that takes you all around the plantation. This was especially appropriate on Saturday as it was the one year anniversary of my Dad's death and he used to drive the train/conduct the tours before he became ill.

Then we took the kids to the petting zoo located on the grounds of Magnolia Plantation. They had a great time looking at the peacocks, deer, bunnies, snakes, bobcats, roosters, owls, etc...

By this time the kids were pretty worn out, of course so were the big kids, so Molly decided to show us the way to the car:

On Sunday we had a birthday party for Bethanie and the kids played dress up!

I think Bethanie was pretty happy with her birthday party and could not wait to show her Dad how appreciative she was:

What a great weekend family filled weekend we enjoyed. The girls played so well together. It is amazing how quiet my house feels right now. Unfortunately due to some horrible car trouble as I write this Bethanie and Julio have yet to make it home, they left here at 8:00 this morning. It has been a very trying day for us, but it does NOT take away from the amazing time we all had together.

A Letter to my Younger Self

2010-04-23T17:24:00.000-04:00

So I was ~~made to write,~~ given the privilege of writing a letter to my younger self via Musings of a Madman. He created a blog post in which he wrote a letter to his younger self and then asked 3 bloggers to do the same. So here is mine and then I will pass it on as well...

Dear Young, Naive, Innocent Mandy, (hey, why are YOU laughing?)

This is your 36 year old self talking so listen up and pay attention. I have some very important advice for you. We have been through a lot. Most things have turned out pretty well, I must say, but sweetie, you've made some real mistakes and missed out on some great opportunities along the way.

First off let's start when you are 16, Mom and Eric had agreed to pay for you to go to France with your French Club. You must go! You must not back out. I know you will be a bit frightened, but, baby, trust me, do not pass up this amazing opportunity. Do NOT back out at the last minute. If you do you will regret it for a very long time (oh and you will hear about it from Mom and Eric for a VERY long time!) You may never get the opportunity to see Paris again so take advantage of it and broaden your horizons.

Now let's fast forward to when you are 18. You will attend Georgia State University on a softball scholarship, and will be accepted into the Physical Therapy program. Do NOT change your mind and withdraw only to transfer to South Carolina. This is a mistake of monumental proportions. You will question this decision for the rest of your life. I know it will be tough and you will go through some culture shock, but it will be an amazing experience you will remember the rest of your life. You are a strong young lady and will only become stronger by pushing your comfort zone and making it through to get your degree.

Now, I think we should visit your early 20's. You will meet some amazing people. You will have some amazing relationships and most of all you will have a LOT of fun. Take advantage of this time. Explore who you are and don't let preconceived notions hold you back. Don't be in such a hurry to settle down and get married, it will happen, you have plenty of time for that and you will be a happier woman if you just relax a little and go with the flow. Biggest thing I can tell you about your 20's, when you discover your boyfriend is cheating on you and his Mother even takes the time to tell you that you are worth better, believe her, leave this real winner behind. There are others on the horizon that will allow you some truly unforgettable moments. Relax a little, enjoy yourself and have fun, you can't get this time back and if you don't you will regret it, I promise you.

I think that about sums it up, younger Mandy. Go out, have fun and learn from your mistakes. You have a bright future ahead of you filled with lots of love and everything your heart ever desired, so slow down and enjoy your moments.

Your older, wiser, self,
Mandy

Ok...now the lucky recipients I am passing this on to are as follows::

My beloved baby brother, Will
My Twitter bud and fellow blogger, Jayman
My sweet Twitter gal and fellow blogger, Mrs. D

I can't wait to read what ya'll would advise your younger selves, should you choose to participate, and I hope you will, but no hard feelings if you don't, I'll still love ya anyway! ;)

Earth Day Predictions

2010-04-22T20:23:00.000-04:00

Today is Earth Day. I guess I typically only give it a passing thought. It seems to me it was a much bigger deal when I was in school, but perhaps that is because they made it such a big deal. I probably would not have blogged about it had I not been listening to my favorite morning radio show, The Morning Buzz with Richard Todd and heard him read off some of the environmental predictions from the first Earth Day in 1970. I would like to share these with you:

Keep in mind these were all made in 1970 (and I got them from this post here)

“Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”

• George Wald, Harvard Biologist

“Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”

• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

“By…[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

“It is already too late to avoid mass starvation.”
• Denis Hayes, chief organizer for Earth Day

“Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions….By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine.”
• Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

“Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….”
• Life Magazine, January 1970

“At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it’s only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable.”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Stanford's Paul Ehrlich announces that the sky is falling.
“Air pollution…is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

“We are prospecting for the very last of our resources and using up the nonrenewable things many times faster than we are finding new ones.”
• Martin Litton, Sierra Club director

“By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate…that there won’t be any more crude oil. You’ll drive up to the pump and say, `Fill ‘er up, buddy,’ and he’ll say, `I am very sorry, there isn’t any.’”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

“Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”
• Sen. Gaylord Nelson

“The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Now what really made me laugh is a caller to the show that said these quotes are from the parents of the folks that are now shouting, "global warming, global warming"!

Richard Todd said it reminded him of Conan O'Brien's skit, "In the Year 2000", which was always hilarious!

I think it is very interesting to go back, especially on a subject such as global warming and see what scientists and environmentalists were predicting so many years ago. It really puts it all into perspective and shows us how much is truly left up to an individuals interpretation of data. Seems to me much of this data is about as reliable as polls and statistics, which we all know can be skewed to support whatever argument you are making. Half the time the same statistics can be used to support opposite arguments!

Anyway, just a little "food for thought" on this, the 40th year of celebrating Earth Day. Cheers, Mother Earth...oh, and could you please limit those 100+ degree and high humidity days in Charleston this year? I promise I will stop using water bottles!

Gamecock Mama

Molly's 5th Birthday

Sometimes We ALL Need to Scream

Mother's Intuition?

3 Years, Already?

"You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."

Zach and His First Date

What Else??

Spring Break???

Tina Fey's Prayer for Her Child...I so get it!

An Ending and A New Beginning

My Little Engineer

A Child's Prayer

Happy 4th Birthday Molly-Pops!

The Year of Thomas and Peace

Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Bad Luck?

Still Here!

Changes

Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths-a follow up

Anxiety and the Peacekeeper

First Day of School 2010

Potty Training Victories

Republicanish? Not so much...

Babies Don't Keep

Thoughts

A Haircut Incident

What a Weekend!

American Exceptionalism

My Abby

Our Toy Story 3 Adventure

Alopecia, Beauty Queens and Courage

Have You Seen this Show?

2010 National Champions!

Well, I Met the Family...

Meeting the Parents

Daddy's Hands

Not Me Monday

Zach's Second Birthday

Questions for Me?

The Art of Negotiation

Is it Ego or Something More?

Not Me Monday

Married Life?

Abby and Her First(?) Love Note

What a Way to Wake Up!

The Unsinkable Molly Vaughn

Not Me Monday-Weekend Edition

My Five Fantasy Husbands to Be

Not Me Monday and a Shout Out!

Nanny State

Mark, Mark, Mark...*sigh*

Not Me! Monday

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Thunderstorms and Bubblebaths

Not Me! Monday

Forever Love?

Weekly Wrap Up

What a Weekend!

A Letter to my Younger Self

Earth Day Predictions

Mark, Mark, Mark...sigh